I abdicate
I abdicate, I abdicate. I walked into that darkness and came back changed. Beneath the gleaming sickle of spring. I abdicate because I am afraid. Swallowed by the vastness of this delight. The stars are starving saints of desire. Fate, I abdicate, I abdicate. I am forever changed. I waited for you in the grave of daylight. Madonna of the midnights, this is the burden of eternity. Such fevers in the evening. I fear Being—what fragile faith I awakened. Every miracle is also an annihilation. In the deluge I wait for you.
I survive, I grieve. The anguish! of delight! How I envy the errant seasons. A seer is sacrificed. The Earth resists. Desire that deathless deity witnessed me. A garland of flames around my neck. You remind me of my shining rival, bright sunrise. I will forfeit eternity for a brief burning life. Desire brings such delirium: I can hear the trapped angels screaming for freedom.
Nothing happens in Heaven. What can the flesh forget?
For a time I worshipped no god but my grief and yes that tarnished me
I wanted to summon the leviathan below my feet just to wake me from my sleep
This desire is a bridge to the void a bridge to the end and I am decadence again
It was the end of the 2020s basically— I refuse to be subsumed
It's the beginning of the end
Time you are a god and like all the gods you consume
Before your decadent eyes I died like night cannibalized by sunrise
Theater of the damned, curtains drawn for tragedy
For an instant that lasted a lifetime I vanished into fantasy
Devoted to decadence, I guess my god was resurrection
Don't forget I was a fragile thing
It was the end of the 2020s basically
I say let that great leviathan swallow me
All my stitches were bleeding like trails of scarlet sunrise
I swear it was devotion that brought me to my knees
(I mean metaphorically)
(It was the 2020s—even decadence was dead for me)
I swear it was devotion that led me to your bed
Metamorphosis: a god transformed for this genesis
I was a dead thing rising from the dark traffic roadside
It was the 2020s, I refuse to be subsumed
Resurrection is divinity
The fantasy overtakes me. I refuse to be free.
Like the sequence of sunrises I survive my vanishings
In defiance do I imitate your majesty
Desire burned like devastation in me
I survive the devouring hours before the iris tides of midnight. Like an imprisoned divinity, desire rippled through me. With the violence of striking lightning! Yes I witnessed the wasteland advancing. Feast at my flesh. Desire lives in a sanguine Nazareth. I abdicate, I abdicate. It feels like the end of days. What if everything changes and I’m still the same? I am all absence. Beauty sleeps past the rush of centuries. Bear me to a verdant age. It feels like the end of days. I dream myself faraway.
Madonna of the dark roadsides, why does this fragile existence feel like an afterlife?
When—you—look—into—my—eyes—it—is—as if—someone—slid—a—knife—into—my——ribs
Migrations to distant skies— I abdicate, I abdicate, I dream myself faraway
I am too devoted to my dreams
Bear me to a verdant age
The fantasy vanishes me —
Trying to survive this life is like screaming in a closed coffin
Madonna on the market, I walked— I walked— I walked—
Onto dark waters.
The gifts! of grief! I survived my vanishings, and I AM, I AM awakening again
Desire burned like the phoenix’s fires of resurrection in me
La violence ! de la nuit! avec le silence d’l’église
To sink into the night seas—who is it I witness who witnesses me?
I AM a fragile thing,
Tether yourself to me
The gifts! of grief! I survived my vanishings
La nuit, la nuit, avec le silence d’l’église
You bear me to the deeps, and the elysian wilderness of desire invades me
Give me poison in the nights—desire / death / genesis, I live as remnants of Being
You who swallowed a falling star, such fevers I suffered with you in the evening
(When you look in my eyes I wonder if you wished you had lived a different life)
Daughter of Carthage, I abdicate, I abdicate. Let me live as remnants of Being.
