Metamorphosis

Seeking radiance, I became addicted to pain. And look how pathetic I became! In despair’s crucible, I witnessed meridians on fire, sunset in its crimson filaments. The overwhelming grief of a dream—I too was on the verge of disappearing. In the rapture of grace, succumb to your creations. Here is the extravagance of dreaming: what I want rages like a tempest inside me. In the footfalls of dawn, hold on to your fragile dreams. Dissolve me paradise, dissolve me in the daynights. The rival, with the majestic annihilation of forest fires! Ophelia with the fire-lilies, you drive me to suicide. I long for the shores voracious throats to swallow me whole. Do not deny me eternity. Seasons of instabilities—the void of miracles—the dark dreams wither me. Bright witness of Heaven’s mezzanine, behold my mad ecstasy, resurrect me in excess and reverie. Exult, exult, in the anguish and the blessing of metamorphosis. Imagine a prison. Oh my beloved you drive me to wild horizons. I rush after the ravines of dreams — and what ecstasies captured me in the catacombs of Babylon. Voracious void, I am your slave. Land of black plages where I chase stars, bring me your horizons. Desire is undoing. I chase sainthood. You resurrect me and then forget me in the valleys of the merciless Earth. I rush after your great raptures. Even your inadequate mercies have changed me. I exist, I exist—it was the world entire that I witnessed. Amidst the breathing yew trees, I await your miracles of metamorphosis. What remains wild in me? Oh jailor of eternity, in breaking night, witness my buried life, witness your fragile being withering. How deeply I feared the barbarism of disappearing years. In your name, the devastations came again, and eternal rest beckoned and yes maybe I prayed for the quiet end.

What you chase haunts you
Severed from the divine first
witness the Lord your god in metamorphosis
who mutates and luxuriates  
My DESCENDANTS IN THE ABYSS, you exalt me
before furious skies, with defiance do I regard your lifeless eternities
Je ne me souviens de rien
and the wilderness rises
I must survive the deluge—
Karenina on the train tracks, who will you outlast?
how could I forget the disquiets of Genesis
what a Fortunate Fall I embarked on, when I beheld your winged vengeance
THE REBELLION!
OF THE WHIRLWIND!
the rival, you annihilate me
Watch me equal your ruins
In ecstasy, the fallen regain heaven again
This broken being 
Desire burned like anguish in me 
And I called it Genesis 
There is death in the hanging trees
The manacles! Of paradise! 
And I died for my appetites 
The decadence! Of disaster! 
Surely I will die of reveries
[there is silence in the gloaming, but I remain in the stillness] 
embrace Metamorphosis, you who suffers anguished revelations in the hanging trees
In the beginning I feared this genesis
before the god of my dark ancestors witnessed me —

I suffer from the sleeping eyes of the eternal deities
Madonna of the gas plants I will be your burning defiance
I must survive the violence of this vanishing Paradise
oh! my beloved! you who wounded me young!
how broken the shores of the world seem to be
I demand you spend your eternities on Earth with me

MY PATIENT ANCESTORS IN THE HANGING TREES
I AM YOUR NAMELESS DARKNESS
WILL YOU WAIT FOR ME

I witnessed! the suicide of the starlings in the crucible of morning. Desire burned like anguish in me. I experienced even my suffering as decadence. Oh! the wild mountains I witnessed. THE ODYSSEY. I AM GRATEFUL TO THE DEMIURGE FOR MY GRIEFS. the decades—I escaped from. the anguish. the angels in their oases witnessed me. And I became a grave again. The blessing! of metamorphosis. Acts of desperation, bear me to a new earth, bear me to Genesis again. These Benevolent Tombs—your tempest eternities witnessed me in divine ecstasy.

Dark nativity in the ambrosial fields of night, deliver me to defiance
the grief of these years will never leave me 
I witnessed your winged cherubim, quaking in adamantine chains 
with reverence I BEHELD YOUR MAJESTIES AND I AM CHAINED TO DESIRE AGAIN