My pride bankrupted me ravenous I fell down Jerusalem slopes sinking like stones despair and decadence in the garden of God it was unprecedented you seemed like this eternal being I was wanting darling I was dying even the daylight was forbidding decaying in a daydream I was this WIZENED thing as if pirouetting into a barrel of fire and yes I feared I was undesirable ! It was so precious to me for a moment I was disintegrating teetering over the abyss and I, I witnessed—