Angel of Revelation
Like an apocalypse of dreams
You had a life of eases
How did you become a devil in my mind?
How did you become a devil to me?
You were leaving shadows of a demon
Like footprints forged in the deeps
I thought we were safe slumbering
But we woke from an apocalypse of dreams
It was vertigo or sleep
Scatterings of light like sunpools
I was a spirit in Confinement
And like St elmo’s fire
I would divide myself in light
Every morning living in the dark mirror of Time
And I can’t get out
Springs of light like fire-isles
And all the mirrors were clapping thunder
Like a lantern in a tempest
St Elmo’s fire was rippling like spotlights
I was strolling through mountains of madness
You were Milton's daredevil
And I would divide myself
With a blacksmith’s forge into light
Prisoner of the plains
I was chained on Dawn’s scaffolding
In springs of light
You had the muteness of misty mountain peaks
from the cloistered meadowlands
like the boundaries of sleep
I was cast from Paradise that Meadowland
Following the promenade of bones
Ariel was sleeping in the seas
That demon Gabriel was razing cities
I became an anchoress of the cliffs
Like springs of light
You were my strange attractor
Age of Aquarians he wasn’t there and I—
was tarnished
We were slaves to a philosopher’s stone
Harness of the divine
And I fear that downfall corroded me
I was Jezebel of the apocalypse
the mountains factories were smoking
we were drawing dawn lights in the wraith ships
You were like a stranger in an avalanche
And I needed you saving me
We were both cast from Paradise
I was drunk on Being like a liquor of the faeries in the spring
A decaying rose
the daypassages corroded me
I was a signature of fire cast from Paradise
And the mountains were smoking factories
We were fishing for moons in ponds
You were the altar I was burning at
and I witnessed —
the end of the universe like a liquor in the spring
The Dawn was drawing its lights
Your bones are coral now
But you were Divine then
Age of Aquarians he wasn’t there and I—
was a tarnished Jezebel cast from Paradise
the wounded doom corroded me
your eyes were glassblack like pebbles of the riverbed
Heir of the fire ruins it was desire like a stranger in an avalanche
and I wanted its salvation so I vanished in the summer lightning
It was desire cast from Paradise
And I witnessed like carriages of pain
The falling of Jericho into golden ichor
Like the boundaries of meadowland
We were harnessed by the divine
I was a signature of fire
You were gorgeous then
But your bones are coral now
And I went down like drawing dawn lights with the wraith ships
I varnished in a summer thunderstorm
lightning inquisitor of the storm seasons
We were fishing for moons in ponds like Existence
I was Joan of Arc of the mining diamonds
You were the altar I was burning at
I was a tarnished Jezebel cast from Paradise
There were fire-flowers in the summer lightning
And I witnessed the end of all things
And now desire like a momentary eclipse
one eve ever since has me
dreaming in kingdoms of fish
I was drunk on being like a liquor of the fairies in the spring
You were divine then
Your bones are coral now in standing lakes of darkness machinery and
I vanished in the thunderstorm with the immensity of summer lightning
and I witnessed like a vespertine of the fire-ruins
we were picnicking in the wastes of the Deep
Drawing dawn lights from the black Earth
Those salvaged worlds mirrored me like an Incantation
I fell in fathoms of the sea
And then that Devastation witnessed me
You were the altar I was burning at
Like a monk in a bell tower
I was a signature of fire
And I vanished in a thunderstorm
It was a carnival of salvaged worlds
And I wanted you to lead me like a firebrand in the dark
We were mooncalfs in the twilight
There were isles of Laputa in the kingdoms
Existence was a chrysalis
And you vanished like summer lighting
I was an apostate angel and my country was a cocoon
We were quarreling with the earth
and I reasoned—
that momentary eclipse could not silence me
for all the immensities but for a season
and I was in quarrel with the earth
Fire of the apocalypse desire
like a Piranesi in the mazes I was betrayed
Vespertine of the dark lagoons of time and I fear
they were mazes
we were sentenced like a witch of Salem to the chrysalis
existence was an apostate angel without wings
the sky was black burning oil from a spill of summer lightning
You were Milton's daredevil in imitation of fire
I witnessed Time that fortress
in quarrel with the Earth
we fell like sunken kingdoms of desire in summer lightning
I was a Vespertine of tarnished worlds executed as a witch of a Salem and existence
I fear it was a cocoon of wisdom
I was a stranger in an avalanche and I wanted you saving me with desire it was planned I think I was betrayed by light and in the summer lightning I witnessed
The end of all things mentioned eternally recurring and I witnessed the universe in tealights like St. Elmo’s fires on the mashes of darkness the first fire was lightning
Fire in the Fairgrounds
Time the destroyer
Weaponized me into wings
I witnessed
The mark of the beast
In the earth’s fortress-forest
I was in the Nowheres
Like a reservoir of standing lakes
Existence was a fleeting threshold on the slopes of Heaven
I fell in the fountainhead of the divine
It killed me it killed me
Divided into the fragments of an angel
I was lamenting for the ages that made us into graves
Like a revenant hiding from the killing fields of sunlight
I stood on the promontory
To witness the handiworks of diviner things
Your ambition
Lulled me to sleep
The gods were listening
We could disinherit the sepulcher of the ages
From sentencing us to stillness
Three wise men running after me
How delectable it was to end it all
With prodigal waste filling my days
Three wise men witnessing me like lovers in rapture
And, let's face it, I needed
To be an object of desire
Starlight as white as ivory from mammoth tusks *
And yes I fear extinction was coming for us
Watchman of devastation-dawn
The Eternal War of being was on
Released like dandelion dust
Into the sweeping existences
And I fear I needed
Everything
For a time I had the ego of a city-state god
A minor deity in the cosmologies
Still I witnessed
Smoking comets of starfire
Twinkling like desire to me
Dying was a promise, wasn't it?
Bonfire of the vanities
The sky was a swampfire of the marshes
I was the bard of a giggling god
Starstorms from the catastrophes
Had me laughing on my knees
I don’t know what I want from life
Maybe dying on the boulevards
Of suffering
Like a prophetess of pain
I witnessed the end of the universe like a god-kiss
Shattering ecstasy
The armed forces of Eden were flashes of a golden prophet
I was vanishing into the vanities
At the summers meridian
Strange fruit on the lattices of trees
Bombarded in the fortress-forest
By legions of the armed forces of Eden
I guarded the language of the angels like a golden prophet
An angel of the periphery
The Milky Way was a widow-maker
I was the baroque of Babylon
Desire that laboratory of fire
The spectators watched me like I was an angel of the devastation
Widow-makers of the milky wars
Flooded with enchantment
I wanted all the worlds to end
The moon like a radiator streaming from the trees
And the severed ends of eternity witnessed me
Imitating their immensity
I sought more monuments like the deity of a city-state
Carnival of lucent terrors
There were firelights in those marshes
We the unredeemed and I needed I needed I needed
One thousand doors of the universe closing in
I had a relationship with the fault lines of existence
My vengeance foe from the fogs of the unknown
Late-twenties like a grave of fireflies
and I wanted to die! **
Too much taken, too much borrowing of the light
You were life like desire to me
My midnight languages
Like [torn] effigies of the angel language
And I desired
Soliloquies of light
It was remarkable savagery
How you wanted me
Heaved from heaven
You were Desire to me
And contrary to reason
I desired the water lights of the existence
Like a riddling sphinx
Contrary to wisdom
I hoped the cornucopia of life would kill us
Savage of the badlands
The fragility deserted me
While I was an idyll of the king
You were sinking on those slopes of Heaven
And I chose
Myself
The Eternal War of Being was killing wisdom
Atonement for unholy angels
Oh the armed forces of Eden
In legions
Were witnessing me
The uprising of reason
I wanted eternity in a season shattering me to completion
It was a need to be seen
In invisibility
Like Juliet I wanted your family
Floating in submarines under the oceans
Reason was a season that I left for greater eternities
Sunless seas sinking me in the summers of the twenties
The sunless seas swallowing me like sunken eternities
And I wanted them screaming about having witnessed me
Desire twinkling in the twilights
And I wanted those armies of heaven releasing me
And I wanted your family floating like a submarine under the seas
We were Romeo and Juliet
In the pupils of a disaster
Existence was a madhouse of oblivion
Carnival of terrors
And I stared into the black pupils of god
I was a collapsing star on the badlands of heaven
My veins injected with the golden arteries of a deity
The Eternal War of being and I was the chief
Existence was a lunch at the roadside picnic and I was sick of it
And I experienced begotten eternity as a punishment of dust
Arise watchman
Like a lullaby of light
At the world’s end
I was flayed as a snowbird in the spring
An impostor of light
Pines in the fortress-forest
The universe was a brimming gift
Desire was living in me as divine punishment
I was running into the Sunken
Like I was in the submarine of your family
The feast of existence
I tended like a blooming fire-garden of God
And I sought—
The jeweled of existence was a mirage
My silver life was actually asphalt **
And I was Lady Lacrimose
Parnassus of the waxing dark
Those bombarding armies of angels wanted to bestow wisdom on me
It was ecstasy like winter witnessing tulips in the Vienna spring
When I witnessed the end of all things
Had me laughing on my knees
That devastation was advancing
I wanted that verdure torturing me for a time but it was an Eternal Severing
All the snaking things in the god-garden of paradise
Taught me wisdom
And I heard the legions of Heaven
Like music of the universe from the flute of Pan
Surging soliloquies of light and I panicked—
The universe was an aged phoenix transmuting from flames
and I waited—
Like crystal chandeliers when I crashed into glassed Devastation
I shattered into light
Captain Bluebeard’s wives under the sea
With the sunken Leviathan
Cannon into the fire-seas
And I was sure Captain Bluebeard
Advanced
Towards
Me
Flaming arrows from winged Hermes
Dragged into acres of Heaven by cherubim
You brought a knife to a firefight
and I was burning as the friar’s lantern
You were a floating criminal like Bluebeard on a barge
Maybe it was the mark of a beast
Witnessing me all summerfire season
Decaying was a station of life
and I survived— I survived —
In fragments of light
Revelation in the firetides of Heaven
and I died — I died —
It was the twenty-first century
Let’s face, the Leviathan was a Machine
Like scribes we could attest to the annihilations
Or let them dance with us
I witnessed the devastations like an artist of the stage
The faeries of a midsummer’s night dream found me one summerfire season
I was slumbering in the gilded silences of infinity
When fire achilles leapt through the seasons
East of Eden
You were a golden boy
and I sought
Even golder things
A mutiny of silences
And Bluebeard was my bride-to-be
I weaponized grief
Surely twenty-eight seasons is too
Soon to be sentenced to the fire-seas
Exiled for saying the eternities wasted us
Exiled for saying we wasted the abundances
I was as homeless as the furnished can be
It was Maslow’s Hierarchy
I WANTED THE ETERNITIES
LUSTING FOR ME
We would return to dust in the god-grave
(Or say they say!)
Fires on the fairgrounds
Like Sisyphus I was guarding the punishment
A chained slave on the fire-seas
I dissent— I dissent
Emperor of gladness
I wanted among the vanishings
The cauldron of [circumstance] like the flaming wings of an aged phoenix
And I waited
For that devastation to forge light
Sidewalks sinking under La Brea tar
Yes I walked with the stars in orchards of light
You were beheading flowers
Like a Prospero of transcendence
And I witnessed the polyphonies like afflictions of flaming light
Existence a punishment from the divinities
The mania of desire had me rolling in those fire-fields
Like a gyspy from the gardens of Babylon
I was immortal as a demiurge
Life was an effigy of eternity
I borrowed blood from the godhead
And I witnessed that eternity like an immortal
In Ecstasy
Morning arising like a coffin
I was a songbird shacked
And it was a massive fortune
Insatiable for the riche
Desire hypnotized with
Its burning solaces of grace
The fragility was a wasteland of grace
And I made it my territory
Felled trees of eternity
Hypnotized me like Piranesi in the mazes
That labyrinth of desire
I was wasted by the adornments of the sun
Lifted from the mares of darkness
Into promenades of light as if we were heirs of fire
World History like twisting sinews of Ariadne’s threads
And I witnessed those
Hectares of night
Releasing me into devastation
Barricade of the days
I descended into vacancies
Beauty is the highest form of being
We were beached whales
Advancing to devastation
The witnessing
Of auguries
Was clapping thunder to me
It burned like
Devastating desire
I killed my selves for light
Iceberg caves of ice
And I hid
Like a midnight dew mariner
A hyperborean on heaven’s rim
We were stirring eddies of dust
And the eternities were rippling
Derangement in summers gleaming Scarface
And I needed —
The moon was a radiator in the colds of Nox
Like a fortress-forest of the dark
And I was far from my dreams
Witnessing those orbiting suns of Solaris
When the devastation embraced me
Three wise men burning myrrh-frankincense
Like dying mythologies
We had immortalized our pains
And it burned like smoking comets all summer long
The eternal War of Being was on
Desire was decadence in a glance
And I vanished - I vanished
I was a desert of the devastation
Dressed in the Adamantine
Gate
Of
Heaven
Way I fared the wasteland of wonderland
And yes I panicked
Desire ecstatic like lightning to say his name eternity was like a golden God-shore to me hordes of glittering infinites and I wanted at least three wise men burning me like the Armageddon desire that fire of eternity burning me like a fallen thing
Incarcerating desire
The discord was hardly
A disadvantage
I vanished - I vanished
(Into desire)
It was a sentence of grace
And then I realized
That devastation was me
And I was in ecstasy!
The rolling seas of eternity
I thought the fragility had vanished
Then I sank like a submarine into the Sunken of summer
And I panicked
Like a punishment that God gave
I resisted! and I called him Scarface
Pirates on the glittering seas of infinity
And I wanted that existence punishing me
Into devotion to the greater things
Like fireflies in the fortress-forest twinkling like desire
I witnessed
That devastation
And I called it
Light
Irreducible
Oh, I have suffered / With those that I saw suffer. Miranda in The Tempest
I was terrified of the things waiting for me
The illusions were disappearing
Killing me in a sequence of silences
Everything was rushing
It was too much for me
Firefalling like Yosemite
Around the clock
Tearing off flower petals
I wish I could stop
Wanting to possess beauty
The fragility annihilating me every eve
I grieved I grieved
Then I melted to eternity
The spectacles
Winnowing me
Into singularity
Accumulated light
From the floods of daytime
Limbs of light peeling my sleeping eyelids
Wayless like the breaking days
I couldn't survive the pillars of creation
I was traveling sargasso seas
When the spectacles witnessed me
Spawning sun in the dark stations of night
I was a newborn babe
With an inquiring gaze
Before the shockwaves
I flamed amazement
Vanishing into territories of mist
I admit jealousy of infinity's edgelessness
The Earth owes me nothing
And still I wanted
A cloud creature fearing descent
I made a transaction with the darkness
Blossoming moon glow swallowing me whole
A funeral for the planet
I was at the wake
For the vanishings
And I prayed
That the flowering jasmine spring
Hadn't missed me
I was a sorcerer
Classifying the fires
Like an archivist of light
I saw Carthage destroyed
And I wanted more
A Valkyrie of the warlights in succession
Like a rich man needling through the eyes of heaven
I wanted impossible things to happen to me
Slumbering in the fever-furnaces of dream
It was existence like a leech that desiccated me
I would not betray the sound and fury
Epiphanies from the tempest
And yes we were sleepless
I was a gilded firebird on that horizon
I would inject my blood
Into the veins of earth
Spin light with the Spinners
Bear witness to that disaster
Carthage was history
I was a jewel of the earth
Before the grief reduced me
Endowed with reason and I wanted to give it up
Siren of the night
Grief reduced me
I was a bride of the disaster
The light was spinning
And I wanted it to Go! Faster!
I was a silhouette of the sun
Demons from the deep drumming
Like a refugee of fire
I was consumed by wounds
A history of my being
And it was annihilation
I saw the ocean surfacing in barricades of waves
Like the last gleaming rays of day
And I needed mirages sustaining me
It was too much
Time like a scimitar
A traitor even to idleness
I was in the dust with the locusts
Sleeping away eternity
Reduced by grief
I would not betray the sound and fury
Epiphanies from the tempest
And yes we were sleepless
What seest thou else
In the dark backward and abysm of time? Prospero in The Tempest
The Eternal War
The fragility found me one shimmering eve
I was trapped trapped
I saw those Beverly Hills Palm trees witnessing me
The eternal war
Let them burn
Let them burn
A conflagration that I started
And I wanted it burning hot
Fires from heavens edges
I wanted a break from the circumstances
Then that summer eve said hello to me
That eternal war Being
It was despair wasn't it
I was warned about being that destiny that remembered my request for salvation
I was in the sweltering yellows of summer
The cars racing on residential streets
I pretended the spotlights for Independence Day were for me
And there was I
Being that destiny
I feared it needed me to grieve
Even the homes had more than me
I was an isolated angel
Living on the rims of minutes like a mariner of Time
Excellence would have killed us anyway
My life is this nothingness-are you kidding? I grieved I grieved
Desire that overthrew nations laying waste to me
It doesn't matter we were guaranteed doom
And our lives would be over soon
I'd make no vigil for dusks
They had the rest of us anyway
And I them
Who could survive the sentencing
The eternal war it was on
I don’t think I ever thought my life would be so much nothingness
I'd make no vigil for dusks
We were guaranteed freedom but it was a whirlpool of light
Arcade of the angels
And I was the game they were playing
The Great War
They wouldn't learn
Summer eves sentencing me
The sky was an inverted forge
And I wanted
More of creation
I prayed it was a feverish creation
Because I was sure it would end me
Demon of Frankenstein
I wanted out of my chains
The sky was an inverted forge
And I wanted more of creation
The gulfs of dream
Desecrated me
I was lost in other dimensions
Hollowed like purgatories of light
Desolation in the sky
Wreckage in torrents
I could have sworn
God was a monolith
That we erected
Divinity, was it a delirium?
I mean the odyssey was weird
I was on embankments of freedom
And I reasoned
The wingbeats were angels and not demons
Wreckage in torrents
I could have sworn that
God was a forge I invented
Like Frankenstein
I learned to love my chains
They resurrected me
I was a ruined ornament of earth
I reasoned those wingbeats weren't sentencings
Unreadable like a rune
We would all be dead soon
And I reasoned
Disappearing into a creek
Was a nice end
Sifting through the night
Summoned like a starling
To the breeding grounds
And I witnessed
The adamantine gown of the universe
Like an inverted angel
I was in a lattice dreaming
I feared that rhizome was witnessing me
Fracturing was a grace to me
An heirloom in my possession
I couldn't stand it
I panicked I panicked
The wager the wager
Sifting through night
I was in the god-grotto with a wager in my possession
Passage through summer seas
Passage through the empire winds
My fragility like a sacrificial beast
I took shore roads to redemption
A hostage in the hour of the goblin
In imitation of fire I died I died
There were avenues of summer seas
Releasing me into crystalline
I was a sacrificial beast of the winds
Like a monolith of light
Prometheus of the dark grasses
Brandishing blades in the first firelights
Bewildered in sleepless eternities
I found shore roads to redemption
Life like an alchemical seal
I was destroying things for creation
It was a sentencing of light
And I was wise to it
Washing me into oblivion
Alchemy like a temple of Pan
I wasted light
And I panicked
The eternal war
I was an automata of earth
Being that existence
Was it intelligence
I wanted out like a summer thundercloud
I lifted into vacancies
That released me into summer eves
Immortality is not for me
Immortality is not for me
Existence was an exquisite sentence to me
Killing your self for art is survival too
Light ages like lilies of the Nile
I wanted the light ages killing me like desire
And I witnessed the decay of my reason
In the hour of the goblin king
The light ages feared me
The eternal war was on
And I was the chief
The actual love of your life is not necessarily the person you are with but the person you long for. I’ve used the word desire so many times, so let me remark that The Fragility is about my desire…for a pool. It was desire, wasn’t it? And I desired that I was swimming.
Between Worlds
The fragility was screaming to me I was between worlds a delay in merry mayhem the fragility was screaming in my bones I fear it needed me screaming in my homelands the fragility was screaming need to me I needed it to set me free I was between worlds so much the better I was a mourning dove fettered the fragility was screaming to me do that thing travel that land and yes under the abundances I panicked
It was merry mayhem that I fell in like starlight
I desired that it would sing for me
I was between worlds
So much the worse
Like a singing prison
Can you dream up
A sweeter incarceration than need
Prison of the angels punishment
And I needed desire singing for me
I was falling in summer
Like a fisher king desiring immortality
I desired merry mayhem it was merry mayhem I fell in
To neglect that need
And have it come back singing
I was wise to it
The fragility was screaming need to me
And I needed wisdom in an instant
O Caledonia I killed a king
Yes I fell into desire like a summer kingdom
It was despairing to be breathing while that despair was singing in me
And I witnessed
Summer shaking like an earthquake that I was making
Summer fall descending and I desired that it would kill me
Like a summerfire I desired
I wanted to die in
Summerfire season smoking me to death
Summertime season smoking me to rest
Wished on a shooting star that summerfire season would surrender to
The fire living in my bones
A thundering voice from the dust
Got its grip on me like sunlight
I witnessed the end of things
And I was smiling in summer fire season
And I was between worlds like lightning
An apotheosis from the ravines
I was an inferior angel in a conclave of cherubim
For eternity
We were lotus eaters consuming the frosted moon
Like winged heralds with war wounds
Pandemonium was a glen I was escaping from
A midsummers night dream
A beast from the Loch raided the night in a forest of fireflies
I died I died
I was nowhere in that paradise
An eternal war in dormancy
The stars reminded me of the dandelions
That failed our dreams
A book of the dead
Creation like the shrieking verdict of streetlights that I was twinkling under
An obliterating demon that the storms had dreamed of one season summer
We were marauders of Earth’s settlements
Bluebells in a garden of banishment
I burned in agony like the limbs of the fisher king waiting for the chosen
I was out in the battlements of sealights Gatsby at the harbor
I wanted that green light a vital thing living inside of me
It was desire singing in me summerfire season
O Caledonia
Listen heaven was that blessing
Witnessing you dreaming of me
O Caledonia I killed a king
It was the realm of Gabriel I fell in
Aspiring to perfection like a benediction
A deity flying through fair winds
O Caledonia I killed a king
There was a mutiny in heaven witnessing me
Perfection I launched it like a rocket
A berserker in rapture with the shackles of magic
I heard the spheres singing in bridges of opium where the gods were grazing
I roamed the pearling seas
O Caledonia I killed a king
Like a deity following fair winds
I could not survive your judgment
Desire like a blinded prophet still singing
O Caledonia I killed a king
I was wilding into dreams
A yawning earth like a conclave of forgotten gods
The tides of time swallowed me
River Lethe beckoning in my memories
I wanted to annihilate what made me
Like a deity following fair winds
Airborne in a regained paradise
O Caledonia
I killed a king
THE APOCRYPHA II
I feared the floating world existence was a repository of treasuries I was trying to flee into daydreams like an exiled king I was in the realm of the angels and I feared it might kill me and I wished it would and I feared it was an annihilation I had sought and I witnessed the distances grow we were hallucinating the first betrayal besides there were other terrors Angels in America? I would have seen one the rails of trains were getting up under me and there was no reason we couldn't die like Anna Karenina by the trains to witness the devastation secondhand I lived again after reincarnation it was desire wasn’t it
Existence like a root in my throat that kept growing it was desire wasn't it our death was guaranteed and I panicked before that desire witnessed me in the newborn dawn and let me tell you I was gone! I was gone!
I had a habit of vanishing into time I was gone the brutality witnessed me as I was rooting it was sacrilege in sacred spaces who could survive the dynasties in the newborn dawn even I wanted me gone irisdescent it was desire wasn't it and I desired it stakeout in the Elysian peaks and I was avoiding it all silvered like the moons rival sinking in the glittering grief seas of existence and the thunder said don't be in agony while the summer still dreams but it was a surplus of summer a colonnade of clouds like the black gulfs of Babylon the hanging trees of heaven wanted me gone in the gallows of darkness and I wanted to return to the shining hills existence lived in my arteries the singing of sirens I wanted to die in a chyralis oh god! It was existence wasn't it and I desired it would kill me it was chaos and I stand in it
The miracles were lynching me like a Wolf in a Chalice the holy grail polluted by carrion and I carried on peacekeeping yes I panicked the haunting of me year by year chrysalis the miracles were lynching me the violence of lightning transfiguring into fire I lived on primordial time I swore off allegiance to the flesh but that sublime violence remembered us the apocalypse in my throat and I chose it dream-catcher hanging in the gallows trees with that Reverend night beast with its jaws the world in border fires ran scarlet in the night like a beast with its jaws gravitating to devastation year after year and I wanted— like the gold of God the apocrypha from the seas of consumptive june consumed by june a cyclops hungering for me lost in the Hollywood Hills it killed me it killed me a valley of beasts baring darkness with its emanations the singing of sirens I wanted to die in a chyralis oh god!
It was desire wasn't it desire like annihilation Promethean fire like a burning bush beneath the Mountain of God I AM WHO I AM it was desire that had become a mountain to me like a sacred vestment an abundance become waste I went to the wastelands like an altar for a past me I feared it would kill me and that I wanted it too it was desire wasn't it lifting me into the colonnade of clouds like the shrine of a virgin that birthed the universe celestial poles like Colossus forming the boundaries of the universe and I panicked I sacrificed reason it was desire as an execution and I reasoned it that if it listened it could have my existence and it did and I surrendered the illuminations it was desire like an execution that I couldn't speak of it released me into the newborn dawn the singing of sirens I wanted to die in a chyralis oh god!
THE APOCRYPHA I
The passion according to me like an exiled king I was in the realm of the angels with ethereal visions I was stolen by the abundances devastation like a roadside picnic and yes I panicked we were stranded in the strange seas of solaris the light ages were fables before there was too much silence ships sinking like beacons of our endings it was a disaster and I needed its momentum for the time being shining sabbath of dawn I fell for your duplicity the abundances finished me my mind was a machine like a cybernetic creation
and I witnessed—
Fool's Gold
Desire isolated me into the infinities desire was living in my limbs like an illness that I couldn't get rid of peacekeeping well I had had it an ephemeral joy like straw turning into gold dinner with Rumpelstiltskin but I brought fool’s gold peacekeeping well I had had it heaven was private property and I brought the fiery things to set that Elysium ablazing adamantine heaven was like a breath of life I wanted the gold even if it was foolish I was the cuisine of a deity the glories were not evenly distributed and I wanted more of them desire surviving the nations existences it was exhilarating to be the dinner of a deity I was stranded on some other planet peacekeeping well I had had it I wanted that desire exhilarating me into the infinities it was war and I was the chief
The fragility was like an engine of creation
Desire turned me into a vacancy
Peacekeeping well I had had it
That Holy Devastation
People were always mistaking me. Writing became a way to make my selfhood more precise.
We could annihilate riches of Summertime it was golden to me when desire exploded us into the fields of dreams desire orchestrated me into delight like a field of time summertime murmurings of a fever from the starlings wings forming labyrinths in the skies I feared the need of you would execute me I cared for nothing else smokestacks in the pastures of heaven we burned with that holy devastation desire
I was a paradox like a fragile lion at the gates of Rome it was desire that made us a home a ballad from that bard of night desire like a jagged hammer the chambers of Eternity looked deserted to me desire like a barge through the leviathans of the darkness and it changed me I needed the courage of a convict the carnage was not our choice but we could share in its devastations it was Creation not sustaining life and I was wise to it
Existence was a shallow grave in Eternity I was the mirrored dinner of a deity yes I felt a silver filigreed knife sweeping under me like a feast of the dark bladed things living inside my limbs I wanted a release into heavens ecstasies it was a summertime routine to fall into luminous annihilation in likeness of that void eternity that slept under me then I was doing it again a lover as an assassin it was obsession that possessed me a dream of the moon and sun falling from the chambers of the summertime it was ecstasy to watch the seasons shift without slumbering me like a lover I was on my knees I was a sacrament witnessing as the brutality lay waste to me in the summer eves and do not think I was displeased with that eternity of pain it was a cacophony that sacralized me in the Adamantine armature of heaven
I was like a saint of the cathedrals of Time desire got me stranded in submission to the will of the planets the secret history feared me I had a pen and a cataloguing of all the things in existence I desired the devastation either way we were sentenced the flesh would get rid of us my quest for eternity was freeing everything seemed too easy in infinity I wasted the devastations we needed reason or we were done carrions of delight I dreamed the cares disappeared like limbs in the light noons during summerfire season it was a particular sort of chaos that needed us the limbs of a lover lavishing me it was golden how all of that destroyed me I loved to be devoted to annihilating I needed a lover for each of eternity's rooms eternity like a heel of Achilles fleeing the terrors he could not surrender it was an eternity of existences that slept under me like a dragon hoarding gold it was exquisite a chalice of life like golden liquid that Midas kissed that is why we were burning in the golden fire fields of atrocity desire was exquisite and I lived in its gilded fragmentations it was desire that rose like devastation I revolted at the governance of Heaven I witnessed the brimming dishes of God I was forgotten it was desire wasn't it dishing devastation like a dinner for dogs
Desire like a wilderness Desire a destiny for dust and I willed it the feast was eternity and yes I desired that it would kill me thefted bounty of beauty burning through you like eternity it was a feast of need the light was an architect of dream-mares we were drifting through the corridors of Time like mutineers of history in the muteness of afternoon seas we were dreaming in summertime there were fire clouds in the avalanches of the dark and yes I panicked I had a destiny for dust why would I survive that panic architecture it had my name like a heartbeat speaking to the burning feast it was golden to me to be a spectacle of shattering it was desire and I lived in it dust to dust the wilderness descended on us dusk to dusk the wilderness respected our rewilding and I fear It was a spectacle of shattering that disarmed me like an unexpected mirror that opened under me like a spring that Narcissus fell in it was desire and I lived it it was like releasing of feathers into eternity so the fine floating things would remember me the shore of the universe did not impress it was a fable to me history in reverse like a book of the dead it told of endings become beginnings I was god vapor storm in the smokestacks when Time that assassin resurrected the agonies the darkness flooded in ruin the great works of existence at risk of ruin and we missed the arkship we heard the choirs of the whispering voids it was religious to bury those witnesses it was exquisite to see the assassins of time execute the survival of the fittest the smokestacks were burning like thorns of roses in agony from the beautiful blades of infinity
It was desire and I couldn't get enough it was desire that surrendered me to eternity waves of ruin and we missed the arkship the fireflies of the summer nights were smokestacks in the blackness the choirs of angels were whispering voids the cracks of light were singing resplendently like blessings from heaven’s rim heaven was a void and I fell in its sublime summers the last supper was burning and I learned from the brutality of the flames crackling dawn a storm rising in the rosebud beheadings
The night was dissolving like a spirit of dreams you inherited innocence it was existence wasn’t it? The stars were engines sputtering my despair had velocity even I couldn't care for me it was destiny that the dance troupe of angels desired me it was gigantic like the stars on the late summer noons Eternity said I was missing I said well aren't you just a void or two? The stage collapsed I was choreographing my doom crucified into Time Heaven was a void I fell in the vacancies of astonishment and yes gods grip on me was unwinding the voltage of the stars illuminated the tragedy it was cruel wasn't it? Untethered from the the rope of heaven while the suns were setting on our dreams like a shadow-spirit desire was bombardment on the barges of heaven despair in a destiny and you can bet I wanted it to finish me it was chaos I was stranded in like a star field of desire Gods grip on me was unwinding me and then I sank into the dead territories of dreaming
Dusk with a firmament that I drifted in like a knife in my limbs I was traumatized into submission to the sky numinous dawn asphyxiated me the angels were in my company and yes I witnessed the untethering from heaven it felt like freedom falling in the pastures of planets and I was stranded on that land heaven facing the angels armies it was cruel wasn't it? Warchief of the Adamantine existences it was exquisite wasn't it? I kneeled into twilight it was desire that needed my submission and I was getting grander I wanted more of the exquisite existences it was necessary to witness that greed and call it necessary eternity felling me like a firefall of Yosemite in my arms I was burning with desire it was desire I buried in a warchief met warring me and was intimidated it was desire wasn't it that gave me haloes like rolling fields of gold warchief I wanted more I was sentenced to light it was desire that annihilated us into oblivion the fire fields of incarceration and I wanted the devastations
You were a dreaming thing killing me
pain like a kingdom of dreaming grief and I was pained to remember it all
pain like a kingdom of dreaming grief and I weaponized it into art
IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT
AND I DESIRED THAT IT WOULD RELEASE ME
I witnessed the shattering of Earth like a planet of limbs dissolving into seasons that were afraid of us
THE MIRACLES I WAS WITNESSING
WERE DEAR TO ME
LIKE A MIRACLE MILE OF SHINING THINGS
AND I WITNESSED THE END OF INFINITY
THE MIRACLES! THE MIRACLES!
THE MIRACLES WERE SHATTERING ME
IT WAS MY DESTINY
THAT YOU HAUNT ME
DESIRE INTO THE ICE OF INFINITY
AND I WANTED—
The Miracles
The miracle of being wanted was a gesture of God Desire felled me like an avenging angel of the apocalypse with wings and halos that beckoned to me and taught me the names of the existences Desire like a dying planet desire was alive in me and I lived in it like the seams of daydreams Seasons of abandonment I abandoned my graves they were marching through my days and I was finished like a dream seizing me and then entire seasons of doom abandoned me
I witnessed a golem of god like an alchemist of the glistening sea like a torture of the furies that carnage was a season at sea to me desire was plundering me like daggers of dawn the genesis was magnificent and I was enfeebled by eternity like an ex that wouldn’t leave I could have guessed that the terror would have sentenced us like a molten gate of dawn the spectacle was resurrecting me the planets were a procession of pilgrims like in a dream and I put my neck on the guillotine I laid it down the velocity of despair like a book of glass under bombs I detonated into incoherence and shattered every season after season
I was an ancestor of the earth on the steppes of the spirit I was choreographing my doom the spectacle enraptured us into ecstasy desire that labyrinth of fire like a neck at the sentencing and I could not bear it the voltage of the stars illuminated the tragedy it was cruel wasn’t it to see the world under illumination I could not stare at it like a detonation of glances the aggression of the angels possession I was taken to the cliffs of heaven like a bride of doom and the stormlit dunes possession by the barbarism of the dark I was captured like a slave hanging on the high cliffs of Heaven it was a tragedy we were reaping in the mornings mist and I could have sworn that the world was of my dreaming and I witnessed the world ending soon we were bridegrooms of that doom it was an overgrown garden of annihilation and I made it my home
The departures were exquisite exits from our sentences it was desire that resurrected us into the infinities and I was resurrected into depletion I could not bear the molten glance of the golden gods that I spurned in a nightcall season of sentencing it was resurrecting doom then that resistance resurrected me into a spectacle of the fallen things and I wanted it! Desire like a sentencing the day opened like a blooming blade it was a sentencing of light I asked god for the carnage I wanted it to annihilate me into existence the symbolism of the dark the tragedy was like a choreographed spectacle of things that we could end every eternity and I dreamt that those spectacular disasters would end us finite things it was desire wasn't it witnessing me? I did the eternal existences they tripled me like a tripartite god in the books of eternity we had no hand in that tragedy it was eternity! eternity that sentenced me like a lover in my dreams of submission dead before eternity would have heard of me it was a sentencing to be limited into finitude I dissent— I dissent— I dissent— it was the sainted end of endings and I wanted it haunting me like a shadow from the past it was desire that entered me and I shattered into screams of ecstasy it was desire wasn’t it I dissent — I dissent — I dissent it wasn’t the end
I was by your side burning like desire in the fires of eternity we were partners in crimes of history and destiny you were a shimmering thing wanting me and what a desire what a desire you were a luminosity vital to life you were a treasure of eternity desire like a resurrection of feeling it was radiance to me it was quaking in me desire burned like devastation in my skin I was already crying for my death when I fell in the resting eternities and I witnessed--
I haunted earth like a spirit overstaying its visitation we were surrendering to the existences the eves carried me into eternity it was a flight into desire like a feather drifting in the sidewalks of the skies and I witnessed eternity like a chapter in a psalter we saw to the slaughtering of the evenings like daughters for the disintegration we were cousins in depleting the eternities green gardens of paradise like annihilations of verdancy I wouldn't survive desiring you the origin and the end it was the Big Bang in reverse to a cradle of darkness and I saw that book of eternity fold like a scripture that god had scrapped I saw the golden globe abandoned and I panicked into dreams
Desire like a planet of reckoning that rippled into twilight ripping me to my innards it was eternity gripping me like I was a sentenced thing those witnessing clouds formed an opinion of me I gazed into the voided steppes of midnight desire lifted us into the infinities of the light it was impulse like a nightcall that united us for a season of reckoning I became a fallen thing it was desire wasn’t it that sentenced us like light the eternities were distorting my vision it was desire that was dreaming of consuming me into eternity and there was a sacred part of me that wished I desired that it would kill me in a sentencing of light I felt an eternity sinking me down into existence it was desire wasn’t it that trapped us in the confines of a miracle I wanted eternity to sentence me to a more exquisite delight that punishment time ending the finite things and I called for the end like an escort seeking reimbursement desire was a need that outlived the nations I arrived in your arms too late it was desire that caused me to disintegrate into the days and I evaded—I evaded—I knew hesitation was a grave but I could not fake a will it was desire that was living inside me like a killing thing that replicated into abysses eternity was an imitation of light life I was triumphing over infinity that darkness in a vacancy
IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT
AND I DESIRED THAT IT WOULD KILL ME
IN A SENTENCING OF DELIGHT
I WITNESSED THAT DEVASTATION
AND I CALLED IT LIGHT
It was Desire Wasn't It
I was always afraid people would figure out that I’m pathetic, but, problematically, I am pathetic. I built up a false ego: that is how you become an artist. Sometimes I cannot believe the things that I did instead of going to therapy. I hated that I wanted to impress the gods more than I wanted to impress men. I’m a writer—-why would I be tame in decaying?
It was romantic to bleed flesh and leave your wounds in ribbons I was decaying like an afternoon in exquisite sentences with the same chant about the universe not listening to me it was euphoria to me that the winged world was desiring me the luminosity sentenced me by dying soon I was summoning eternity it was a blooming flower of desire-death eternity and I couldn’t get enough there were so many epochs I wish I could forget I was drunk on dreams it was euphoria to me that the winged world was disintegrating I revolved into cycles of dying it was like a deity was afraid of me I sawed the eyelids of Eternity it was desire to me! desire kept me lavishing! the winged world was accelerating towards a forsaken me you were luminous and light luminous like light prophecy of my desire midnight you were far more beautiful than me that killed me! that killed me! Dare I say I grieved through the silver nights like sickles at my ilium or a reaper in my iris midnight the luminosity sentenced me it was desire wasn’t it? I desired that it would kill me
IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT
I DESIRED THAT IT WOULD KILL ME
DESIRE LIKE A DESTINY THAT CHOKED GOLDEN ME EVERY MORNING I WOKE THE BREATH OF LIFE CHOKED ME IT WAS DESIRE AND I YES I FEAR IT WAS A GOLDEN YEAR HESITATING LIKE A SUICIDE AT THE PRECIPICE IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT I WOKE TO A CONFLAGRATION OF LIGHT STRANGLING ME IN DELIGHT—
I DESIRED THAT IT WOULD KILL ME
It was desire that tumbled me and I pretended it was a grounding to earth it was desire that slept under me as some ancient wisdom the desire to despise myself like the eyes of God cowardly I desired a destiny that would control me freedom was a grief to needy me I was wanting I was in the light as God designed wishing the universes slept under me it was a resting place for contemplation the desire that swept us like a season of summerfire I wanted to burn with eternity even as a slave to that eternity of fire desire that devastated me into dreams I desired that the desire would kill me I was on my knees when that desire released me I was daydreaming into depletion a burial of light it was desire wasn’t it? I desired that it would kill me before the pain did it was our destiny to be a whisper in eternity that dream fire desire living inside me like a conflagration of light desire like a green garden of Babylon
Desire a fissure in my being the annihilations of suburban hells listened to luminous me recount my destinies like doors of the universe it was desire that I had allegiance to like a dream from your youth it was desire wasn’t it that killed my luminosity I became a blooming void of wanting desperation it was golden to me to disappear into a season of vanishings I wanted the fears to witness me sinking desire like an immortal that met me at night desire like a thief took the quiet from me and left me with wanting longing desire like a divinity to me
IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT
I DESIRED THAT IT WOULD KILL ME LIKE ETERNITY
It was betrayal to be sleeping through the tragedies like a beast and I didn’t care that Chaos was outside of us it was desire wasn’t it and I desired that it would kill me desire like the golden fleece ecstasy everything was golden to me like the golden touch of midas controlling the chaos it was a deferred doom that I had unleashed like a beast in the trees I was witnessing that doom come back to me
Desire a green garden of annihilation desire like an ak-47 shooting into the backyards of stars desire like a bomb into the graves it was victory just to desire in the summertime Desire confronting me it was bombardment like a war in my victory garden the luminosity sentenced me victories of fire it was the pain like lightning rising in me with the desire two blades into my ilium I haunted the hills with Time and its killed things I decayed into desire this summerfire sunken seasons of displacement I was a concubine of the wasteland in this fire nation desiring was American the sun was a star of fire that could consummate me I was a virgin before the celestial bodies raped me into eternity
The darkness resurrected me only to condemn me like a hammer I was day-drowning in the tempests of time I wore anguish like a veil it was a merciful illusion like the liturgy of an evening witnessing the golden ending of all things light in the spires of summerfire season it was impossible to imagine that anything wished to kill our delicate existences Desire like a haven a violence that was golden to me Desire like a weapon I wielded a gate to the witnessings the fragility slept under me I could hear the universe singing and execution was my price for listening I was a green garden of paradise that god walked in and you despaired for me we were in dream halls of desire the stars left their graveyards of darkness to fall for fallen me I was determined to become your dream I wanted you falling for me even if it took a universe of persuasion I would burn in a sundering of light to prove my devotion the outside world didn't matter it was background noise it was desire like lightning white as starlight that striked me into the distances desire like a lynching in my dreamscape fate was a roulette gun it was a sinister grace god gave to waste away the heavens wisdom
Desire uncontained like a brush fire it was magnificent to waste the gifts god gave smart enough to do dealings with me it was eternity I sold myself to like a slave in the marketplace I had no desire for you I desired a greater eternity the cosmos panicked witnessing my need for the infinities especially the ones that dreamed of me Desire like eternity it needed me to beg for release in the the highlands of Time eternity rendering me a finite thing worthy of comdemnation like I was a midnight steed of eternity when that devastation rose in me it was chaos in a control room to be desiring you and eternity
Yes I felt it rise in me
Desiring that eternal thing a release from that desire I feared the mirrors witnessing what I gave to the fragility for a moment I believed I could survive the fervencies of that infinite prison Time it was desire that shocked me into becoming electricity the potential difference of desire I desired that it would kill me I was begging on my knees like a slave of the devastation it was religious to witness my submission to that god of death desire it was desire that was gentle with me like a violent man on a bright day it was desire that decayed me like it was death the grim on his midnight shift I longed to be destroyed I knew it was a perverse joy it was electric to me to participate in my own devastation and say that was desire to me! I desired that ending!
It was apocalypse from an angel that mistook my false self as the real me that was sentencing me to eternity for desiring the Infinities like blooming roses in a victory garden it was American to embrace that eternal suffering desire like the plains of Iowa burning corn the burning of the world was a glow to me like fireflies in the blacklight desire that would light me through the centuries like a lamp I was hanging with by the crook of my body desire like a roadmap to the stars they were dreaming of our celestial bodies desire was golden to me it was the gold leash controlling me I desired the devastation to ponder me in bond age and find me a divine thing imprisoned in the eternities they would find me like a prisoner in the night fields of time they witnessed me into the dream pastures like a daydream that lasted in me I dreamt I was drinking the light from eternity like a chalice of wasted days I was fire allegiant like the ashes of a flaming thing I heard eternity echoing in my ribs it was desire wasn't it I desired that it would kill me the wonders of witnessing the devastations coursing like voltage in the power lines of our eternal cities I wanted a crown of thorns bleeding me to bone I wanted to make pain haunt golden me through eternity like a lover in the bedsheets dominance it saw us as fragile goods it was eternity the black summer waves that I slept in it was release to me to sleep in the eternities and dream of freer things
Desire like a fissure in my lungs when the annihilation listened to luminous me it was desire that I had allegiance to like a dream from your youth it was desire wasn’t it that killed my luminosity I became a void of wanting it was golden to me to disappear to a season of vanishing it was desire wasn’t it I desired that it would kill me the Drawbridge of evening was lowering into eternity the planets were a procession of pilgrims the Messiah of the milky moonlight lands savior of the star fields paradisal gardens were our inheritance
IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT
I DESIRED THAT INFINITY I DREAMT THE INFINITIES WOULD KILL ME I DESIRED THE WISDOM OF ETERNITY DORMING UNDER FINITE ME IT WAS A DESTINY THAT I DESIRED A PRECIPICE OF ETERNITY LIKE WALKING ON A WIRE TO ME I WAS GONNA LET IT FUNDRAISE FOR THE DEVILS I WAS GONNA LET IT END ME it was eternity I was dreaming one summertime eve eternity that ended finite me it was a destiny of fire and yes I burned like devastation THEN DESIRE RELEASED ME INTO ETERNITY
IT WAS DESIRE WASN’T IT
I DESIRED THAT IT WOULD KILL ME
DESIRE LIKE A FATALITY AT MIDNIGHT it was golden to me to find myself sinking in black waves it was a silent violence our love was a relic of time it was desire to me twinkling in the midnight field of time I dreamt of you choking golden me like I was a relic of time it was desire to me that you bind to me like time for every eternity desire burning in a circuit of fire I was wise to it the rising in my ribs like desire singing I was witnessing the beginning of the endings it was golden to me the devastation rose in me wanting you was a grace from the devastation that closed in on me eternity obliterated me to witness the devastation like Pandoras gift to the nations devastation like a scream living in my ribs it made skeletons of us I was a dead thing roving round the realms of devastation summerfire season I wanted it killing us it was religious to return to ribbons of fire and witness the void listened to us it was a singing in my ribs that obliterated me like Eternity unraveling my need summerfire season the quickening of desire in our bones summerfire season that dream was devastation
Getting older was fun I was rich in wisdom—I mean in awareness of the stupid things I had done awareness of my limitations—I would let the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride me to devastation it was ecstasy to surrender to necessity I folded into the golden light like a god that went into hiding it was desire mounting me like a midnight steed I needed freedom swimming with the stars in a time field do you not hear the cosmic grandeur? like the planets were planned for us? it was an impossibility theologically to escape from the constellations burning from desire was golden to me in summerfire season and yes I folded
Summerfire Season
The black gown of the universe was Adamantine I could not slip through that strange horizon Time history the fates had told me it was golden to me the moon and the sun had a good run I was coming undone like a whisper in the trees I woke in the womb of the winds crying in a chorus I rose to it yes it was a golden time for spiraling into sunlight I'm doing dangerous things but I don't want to be it was golden to me to be destroying wisdom it was freedom to resist in ignorance it was golden to me to remember what god had told me and then fold like paper there was wisdom in fear wasn't there? It was the moon and sun I was coming undone like a whisper in the trees the chaos was depleting me there were many worlds in the wind and all of them were leaving me it was golden to me how god rose in me he died in a field of golden sunlight at night one dreaming eve I saw god fold into the twilight it was a burial in light I was frozen into stillness bearing witness nearly killed me then I felt the god rising in me rising in my ribs like a singing desire it was golden to me good god the golden god had gotten me I was a dutiful daughter I folded like paper like a doll for the wanton devastation it was golden to me to be disintegrating the world in the wind was burning with us I was there in the golden field when god dissolved into the light Desire like a ravine I fell in burning with purgatorial fire I heard the eerie wingbeats of angels near the shore of Eternity I tasted the fruit of god and I wanted more silence was a sound to me my soul was awakening Eternity in a day to me Eternity decaying while it whispered to decaying me possession I was taken to the cliffs of heaven it was golden to me to witness the gestating doom it rose like a fire in my ribs like a singing desire and I was going to let it control me bondage was golden to me trapped among the stars I witnessed like a god whistling on the shore of Eternity Desire like a fever had smothered me it pained me to be taken by radiance it was a trap of golden light set up by a deity we had forgotten God bless that flaming light that kept me lit tonight dreaming up a palimpsest of forgotten eves I was like a daydream the deity grieved I needed freedom I needed freedom it rose in me it was golden to me DESIRE HAD ME SUFFOCATING LIKE A DIVINE THING WANTING
Joy on a golden day joy like poison for a mercy killing in a quiet burial of light joy was singing in my ribs as I witnessed that labyrinth of desire like a circuit of fire it was chaos in a control room it was golden to me how you wanted to witness me even as I was disintegrating frozen like the cold of heaven I suffered in your absence you were the fire warming me to completion labyrinth of desire like a circuit of fire it was golden to me to be decaying into daydreams summerfire season it was my destiny to unwind into time and surrender like fire in the wind a valley of desire burning in my ribs it was golden to me desire flaming me into a fever that I needed it was divine to me to be wanting the universe in reverse with me inside the singularity I was like a golden thing in a cloud of black abyss when I witnessed the beginning of the universe
The Imitation Game
An army of angels and I was pained to imitate their violence to be killed by a divine thing scintillating was a blessing the stars were slaughterhouses I slept in the storm clouds promised salvation in sleep trepidation I was frozen from the predation of mirrors I could not imagine a weirder creature than me it was a summer symphony awakening like a slumbering beast I was taken by the radiance I was titanic you could bet I would rise to it inferno I would not let go and there was wisdom in knowing that it was so warchief the fear was dissipating titanic I was alien as if stranded on some other planet what magnificent carnage! and I wanted it! the courage was leaving it was a situation I wrought and it was bleeding me in deep you were the only one who could understand me it was wounding to me how much I needed freedom from being known like a god in that mindless morning mist I could not bear to be witnessed I hid I hid! It was quaking doom but He knows it would be over soon I felt the end rising in me it was delight to me by that radiance I was taken as if kidnapped by the winter in the devastating summer I was Titania dreaming of ecstasy weakened by fear I was on my knees I was begging for release and it was delight to me to debate with God I won wisdom it was killing me as the snake had warned there was punishment for greatness it was bombardment with limitless possibilities
God had me wrong God had mistaken me I rose to it yes I sought it and I brought it the devastation rested in me Immortality was a death knell to me would I have orchestrated it I wanted more of it life bore the fragmentation of a dream on the verge of disintegrating an infinity of disappearances in eternity I dissipated like a daydream that decayed with me the chaos was what I wanted the event horizon was afraid of me I was a scintillating as a singularity I was your needy daydream it was twinkling like desire to me and yes I kept that fire existence weaponized me the spheres were singing and I listened it was exquisite delight to witness the fires and consider it a conflagration of light I needed like a titan it was desire that ravished me escaping from the artillery of the sunlight I was a warchief hiding DESIRE LIKE A FEVER HAD ME SHIMMERING LIKE A DIVINE THING WANTING
It was late evening and I was waiting for freedom was a lodestone to me who could bear imprisonment not I! not me! Paradise behind bars paradise under lock desire quaking in me and I sought---
Existence like a weapon to me yes it needed me yes it felt me like a lover in the bed sheets existence was burial to me the darkness of the grave was keen on me the darkness serenading me garishly shredding my selves in a great sundering I was surrendering existence in its richness would I miss it even as it was corroding me? The cosmos was chaos in a whirlpool to me it was controlling me like a marionette on strings warchief I wanted to know surrendering on my knees so the void could swallow me I wanted to know it was God that left me in ignorance like I was a visitor to earth everything was exhilarating
Eternity over in the blink of an eye was sinking me like the stars I was tired of passive witness the existences could not bear me haunting beasts whistling in the wilderness and I wanted — lying in the light Ecstasy obliterating me while I was on my knees it was crushing like desire to me it was electric like a fire undressing me in wounds rising through the ruins yes I sought it desire exalted me I was an undertaker of the worlds I followed and on my knees I swallowed it was ecstasy in doom to me it wasn't as if the world needed me I was no necessity I was a wavering inconstant thing the bondage of Time was choking me in chains ecstatically the world I surrendered to became mine it was desire like lightning that quaked in me Eternity that wasted me I tasted freedom to be bound to time it was titanic how I was sinking existence released me in ecstasy forsaken in bondage I couldn't take it I fought pain in ecstasy it was a relationship with pain that left me reeling in ecstasy the end of the world was pleasing to me it was delicious devastation a doom that tumbled towards me inescapable like gravity and then that singularity witnessed me I was a martyr for the immortals a beast whispering me hello from below warchief I made it the angels serenaded me it was existence in the imitation game with a greater eternity
La nuit d’été
The terror was sublime to me it was dreaming of strangling me existence like a whisper to me I was a spectacle of shattering in an Ark of Darkness Paradise behind bars Paradise under lock and I sought it! God vacated us it was blooming doom like a garden on the moon it was a Catastrophe I sought I was disintegrating and still I wanted you to destabilize me existence was punishment for insolence and do believe me when I tell you of the revenge I witnessed as it was unleashed on us
Oasis of darkness why was the garden of Paradise so far? Like a newborn breathing I melted into quivering Eternity I lived in liminal time the divine light was a serene beheading that sentenced me I dreamt I would die in obedience the void wasn’t vacant enough—it needed us! Tomorrow was a treasure in departure and yes for a moment we shared that wisdom—the void listened to us! Eternity was a treasured departure that we waited for Eternity was an afterthought that Time forgot imitator of light an afternoon I surrendered to angel of vengeance I wondered if the gods were afraid of us?
Surely it was religious to bury those witnesses surely it was religious to assault the planet it was chaos I inhabited it was freedom that released me I spoke to the dark and one dreaming eve the dark spoke back the dust of the earth remembered us it was ancient like the primeval sea and do believe me when I tell you that ancient despair remembered me life was an abiding eternity between Void and Void chaos the rolling engine of history like a dark theater I was witnessing and I couldn’t stop it
Existence was a fenestrated doom like a collapsing cathedral that I inhabited Reality was baring its teeth and I grieved! I grieved! Existence was an eternity I treasured and I fell in oblivion the luminosity of life was a forgotten brilliance that was killing me and I wanted— I felt that desire seize me like a god shouting in a storm cloud the vacancies were consuming me it was liberty in imprisonment the abyss was so deep that I fell into the dark places I met God’s gaze and was surprised to see my face I walked as the summer stars were vertiginously singing in imitation of ME how precious to be devoured by an Eternity while I was hanging on the fates loom to be made whole was a kind of sundering even your silence was a statement the time for salvation had ended witnessing that devastation was killing me eternity was departure in a daydream to me the vertigo of the summer stars had eclipsed me it was so sweet of an apocalypse that I nearly missed it
For a time my mind was an unrivaled shore it was a cradle in the darkness it was as if a demon had marked me I took a night train through the stranding marshes of darkness it was too vast an eternity and I panicked I witnessed the Passion of the shattering of fragile things we were descendants of that darkness the eyelids of deity like the arrow of an archer in my heart Eternity was a martyr at the altar of Time terrified of the resemblances between me and Eternity I thought desire was resistance the moon was a sacrament in the gorge of my throat churning with smoke it was a conspiracy in agreement eternity upon eternity deferred in a season everything was wounding to me the end of the world could not come soon enough to me it was heaven that despaired of me it was heaven that was scared of me surreal like a pasture of dreams burned by reality we swam to the harbor of the apocalypse resistance it was divine wasn’t it? God was the artist of black skies God was the apocalypse I had forgotten Earth a canopy of beings screaming in need the Fires of Revelation were blooming towards finite me while I was sleeping in the infinites
It was devastating how you were always forgiving me the Terror was liquidating me a transmogrifying doom the the frigidity of oblivion liquidated me voltage coursing through power lines and I could hear the universe crying Discord was anticipating me as a star I was devastating in my gleaming the carnage was a companion to me like an immortal I wanted a memorial in language silence was a sound to me my soul was awakening Eternity in a day to me an Eternity of freedom that wisdom'd me a thousand years ago the terror witnessed me in my fragility there was grandeur in sinking it was sinister to despair while subsisting but my life didn't feel like existence the fragility witnessed me in my sacred need it was existence regarding ME like a sacred thing I was deteriorating in graces I wanted the fragility to be history but the devastation was returning the event horizon collapsing before us the end of the world was hesitating all the eternities waited in line to devastate me and not only had I begged for it—I was ready for it Time the event horizon swallowed me in sublimity
I thought the end coming for me was a resounding victory deep in the entrails of a nightmare yes the magnificent invaded me! The brutality met me in my dreams despairing paradise I wouldn't cry valor in a summer symphony it was wisdom to be disintegrating that singularity swallowed us the moon was a station lamp in the ornamented marshes of darkness I witnessed the summertime riches existence was killing us I summoned the collapse of stars and they summoned me supernova I was a divine thing shattering
Fires rising in the rhythmic dark the cosmos witnessed me desire collapsing in me I felt it was wise to pause and celebrate and there was I hesitating while sunlight became lightning in a universe that wanted us dead every sound was a symphony to me the cosmos was a chaos of sounds that rushed on toward us
It was an event horizon that witnessed me in my shattering from the punishing silence of infinity unless fireborn you cannot know the terror that witnessed me I made a miracle of decay the arteries of God were draining obsession was a violence that made an eternity out of finite us engines of creation raiding us god in a lightning storm those angels were raiding us we were divine things in a prison I heard the spheres like music quaking in my ears I couldn’t survive it wasn’t the right planet like a ballerina dancing to indifference the dissolution was waiting for us the fragility like a candle kept flickering on I was an exiled spirit in the gulf between heaven and earth I match the moon in obscurity the cruciform silence of the winged ones we waited day after day the daylight consecrated me the daylight was afraid of me the stars in their scattering astonished forsaken me it was a tragedy in abeyance and I fear it advanced while I was sinking in the sieve of the sky I thought I had dreamed it the highlands of the skies were rising I was wise to it! Disappearing seemed favorable like a character in a fable I waited for something to amaze me
There was wisdom in disobedience it was Reason wasn’t it? Sinking in the sieve of the sky to desire the miraculous and to be met with silence I was shaken by that nursery of fire Desire that ungovernable freedom of fire astonishment was a Cosmos beckoning to me I was a stranger in that land of wanting a thousand years I disappeared there was wisdom in vanishing it was existence I lavished in a daydream the World was splitting at the seams the anxieties were circumscribing me it was Revelation in reverse what a delirious sinking existence wounded me like an arrow from the angels the shattering of language was catharsis all of creation was an execution anguished I was through and through I was sure the universe dreamed of us the edge of unbeing collided with me the fragility surely needed me it was greed to be displeased with existence in the corridors of Time that devastation would find us I feared the constellations would not spare me the magnificent carnage consecrated me and I feared I caused it even discord was divine to me it was a summer symphony and I wanted—
If you romanticize your life, when you hit rock bottom, you’ll think: oh, what a gorgeous vertex, how luminous and ridiculous. Look, it’s apocalypse in an ellipse! And that is how you survive the many annihilations of life.