Atonement

Everything has been wrong forever
apathy I called it grandeur 
parading the grandeurs of God 
and I sought— 
the necessity of Exile 
I tried to die 
in the blades of the Night 
Seek the vanished ones 
Exodus in Embers
the flesh eats flesh 
and I remembered— 
I was chained in the dark 
the Necessity of Exile 
I tried to die 
I walked to the wreckage
in idling light
stillborn in god’s country 
that Tower of Babel was bone 
that gorge was my home
I lit fire canticles before 
the gluttonous yellow moons 
The Word is Weightless as Light 
it Lived on Flesh
the Necessity of Exile
I tried to die 
the Furnace of Creation
kneeling before the grandeur of God
the ruin—
the rapture—
stars shivering before their dark assailants
Apotheosis 
I felt the holiness of fire
rising in my ribs like I was an evangelist
and I witnessed— 
the entrails of the Earth 
I was Tiresias
blinded by life
it was Desire like a zenith 
when the rest of Heaven was Blue 
luminescent tides came with the bayonets of Night
Desire! I thought it was Gold but it was Pyrite 
Obsession was a season that I needed rid of
Seventh Day Atonement 
the gravity of wanting 
had me falling to the eunuch Earth
Devotion
I was chained in the dark kingdoms 
Eternity like a famished fire-bird 
a phoenix rising in the ashes I died I died 
Desire! I thought it was Gold but it was Pyrite 
It was Desire as a luminous Eternity 
These were impossible hours 
I wanted the sublime distance of the stars
I knelt before The Grandeur 
like a collapsing empire 
and I was gone—
write, write, the mind is your main estate 
hourglass Dawn
THIS IS THE STILL MIRROR OF FIRE YOU LIE UPON
and you died—
you died—
Madonna of the Apotheosis 
Madonna of the bloated moons and Madonna of the blood roses like runes
Madonna of the blessed eternities
The universes Adamantine 
You reminded me of them