Book of Disquiets

Beloved you reminded me of the adamantine galaxies
Distant still stellar in the fragile dark
Who else will preserve me?
You were a miracle of light in the adamantine galaxies
I vanished into the shivering winds
I vanished into that vast wilderness
Witness my annihilation
I commanded the fragile dark
Witness my vanishing creations
The American Cathedral
Life this inheritance of radiance and ruin
This is the mirror of fire
This is daylight
Desire burned like devastation in me
I was dreaming of the adamantine galaxies
Smoking on the night highways like an asphalt angel
with the moon as my halo
Dreaming of your golden soul
Surely beloved you were born in another world
Dreaming adamantine galaxies
My petition: spare me from witnessing spring
These starless distances were killing me softly
My soul said go with the dead of the riverbed
There with the pockets of stones lies your bloodlines
Then I heard a star speak to me softly from the universes adamantine
Desire burned like a star’s radiance behind my ribs
Desire this perishless anguish I called it light
This was the peril of dreaming 
Ophelia at the riversides 
Once I journeyed to a brimming spring 
What delightful peril to dream and dream again
Light in the distant Hollywood hills
Once I was a brimming spring
This spectacle of flesh—
Life this inheritance of radiance and ruin 
Madonna of the horizon worlds 
I thought I was the center of this island universe
At the horizons we slipped between worlds
In the arrhythmic dark 
They gathered until the day was dawn
like the decadent dark
You reminded me of the radiances 
We slipped between worlds 
Radiant oblivion
storm of swans, again in the wastelands ! 
Beneath the lantern of trees 
I wanted and I wanted senselessly 
Went up like lightning
Drowning in the flood of worlds 
Life this inheritance of horizons 
and I wanted
and I wanted senselessly 
I told myself ascent was falling 
Then the numinous winds hit me like lightning 
In the decadent Babylon they gathered until dawn
The arrhythmic dark of decadent Babylon 
This radiance wanted me gone
Redeemer of beckoning oblivion
I was a withering wind in violent transfiguration
Before the moonlights I wanted and I wanted senselessly  
This fragile yearning killing my daydreams 
I wanted
and I wanted ravenously 
In the evenings I lived in the oblivions 
I went up in smoking whirlwinds 
In the evenings I lived in the whirlwinds 
I went up like smoking oblivion 
Violent transfigurations in the moonlight 
Before the Reservoir of Souls 
I was Fire and void in this fragile darkness 
What a radiant grave darkness
Life this idle radiance I couldn’t capture
In the aftermath of ages and ages of wasteland
I called Madonna in the whirlwinds
and rushed like desire into that devouring eternity