Melancholia
I left in pursuit of a cure for my alienation.
in the still universe you were this fire burning at my bedside I prayed you at my lips and my prayer was for the abyss the alchemist turning metals to gilded light you arrived in this simulacrum of paradisebefore your gaze I suffocateand I’m remembering everything again my life in ellipsis captive to this parallel universe of stillness andI witnessed —
the violences of this life!
a voice rose from the dust
there were other lives on the horizons
you were fallen and fragile in midnight cities
it’s all Babylon in the starlight
sometimes a fire burning at my bedside
vie de rêves, le vent se lève
the golem of god walked on in fragile dawns
Desire this waging war inside me
I saw your wings above the abyss
in the angel hierarchies, who can triumph your sublime majesty
There is lovely fire in the wilderness
Eternity in the hanging trees
how vain the void that witnessed me
This is your temple eternity
When the shadows sealed evening
I was carried into the night winds
How vain the darkness that witnessed me
Melancholia beneath a trinity in the trees
Daughter of dust this is your darkness
Desire from your ambrosia I fled
Tipsy from the liquor of the skies
Desire that usher of eternity to me
Melancholia in the temple of trees
I spent the afternoons grieving
There is lovely fire in the wilderness
Bound to chains of adamantine
a wild being dreaming of freedom
I thought killing myself for desire would make me more beautiful my vanities in morning lights like diamantine tears I am foiled by desire again we were both failing to be divine it was desire riding me in the midnights slaughter in the mornings I witnessed raging wildfires in distant hills daughter of dust this is the consolation of the winds that you survive by vanishings desire the primordial rebellion I was blooming with the moonflowers in skies dark as the obsidian seas and even my victories were silently killing me vacant earth I was debased by fantasy this is providence we were bracing for the winds there were shores in my throat in your gaze I disintegrate in your gaze I dissipate wild dreaming being, brace for the winds!
“I had risen in angry rebellion against providence. ”
You had the trappings of a rose
In this blushing paradise
I died twice once for desire and once for appetite
This destiny of fragile mortals, Dying for desire
The gods were sneaking away in the bright of day
Ghost lights in Paradise
You reminded me of desire
Desire this apocalypse you taught me the map of the stars
Again this apocalypse surely it was a god that did this
You reminded me of desire
This burning anguish how I wanted and wanted ceaselessly
Start your prayers in the darkness
This is the end again, us returning to dust
Come die with me in luminous seasons
Decapitated swans at your neck
I worshipped in you those luminous seasons
You had the decadence of a trapped swan
Victory in chains I was chained like the dark generations
Desire, I worshipped you for a reason
Surely this rope around my throat is freedom
Midnight cities I worshipped desire and desire worshipped me in hordes of moonlight
Like a burning god by my bedside what divine victory
Universe of fire I realized you were an impossibility
Desire I worshipped you for a luminous season
We were Angels on thresholds
This empty eternity like the memory of a dream
And yes I fear the mountains are calling me again
