The Decades
The more interior I became, the more I felt that I contained the universe in my mind. Why why do I float through this life. I witnessed the warring swallows in the morning. The infinite, the infinite! Under the siege of desire, I vanished into stillness. I drink this poison of life. The decades. A wasteland I made. Saturn, do not return me— I'm a life virgin. I want to harvest honey from the horizons. I face the wreckage of this existence, and a marvelous fever takes over me. The dread, the dread! Desire waged a war of vengeance in me. This is the end again. Tomorrow beckons. In your arms—like warm flames —I AM, I AM for an instant of salvation. These terrors! in my flesh! Temple of the earth, bring me your treasures. The blades of darkness are burnishing.
The decades! you tarnish me!
I was airborne while the flames were feasting
Bearing desire’s predation in the evenings
The decades! you tarnish me!
These chains I chose, a noose around my throat
My namesake darkness
I died for this Genesis
The decades! you tarnish me!
Beloved my pearl in the evening
A dark cloak of oblivion swallows me
I pretend I am weightless like the light
Embers in my flesh, desire’s immensities
The wings of Icarus are burning
I fear we were back at the beginning
And I'm in the same place again
While the flames are feasting
This harrowing, tethered to my being
In the summer evenings, you were my fever dream
I surrendered to the violence of the winds
In my fingertips at my bidding for an instant I was revived I was alive fire in your irises I witnessed a rising Paradise and I was alive and I was alive
Seraph in the teeth of a beast
Before the ornament moons
Such sorrows! There’s a wound in my soul
Darkness and metamorphosis
Let the flames feast
The decades! you tarnish me!
I exist on the edge of a dream, on the edge of eternity
This wasteland— of what I wanted
Desire you are my sublime dissolution
You pursue and punish me with ecstasy
Sober before sunset, there’s a grace in chasing danger
Silence between the screams
Desire, I’m tethered to a winged being
I died for this genesis
You were like a god to me
Heaven sent no mercy
You had the appetite of raging flames
Even ashes are ravenous for life
In your eyes I return to Paradise
Now there’s a fire in my ribs
And we were back at the beginning
And I am maimed again
Scarred by the blades of darkness
The decades! you tarnish me!
On the brink of Being, desire, you take possession of me
The kiln of summer skies are blooming vermillion
It killed me, it killed me, I died for this genesis
I vanished into life’s cyclonic winds
I’m a carcass before the spectacle of stars
The decades! you tarnish me!
(At wit’s end, I arrive at sunrise. Child of god, I’m breathless from the burden of Being, you recompose me. In my sorrows, I behold golden shores. I’m in the remnants of a dream. Refuse to rescue me.)
