Totality

Chiasmus I saw the whirlwind universe in reverse
Desire burned like devastation in me
Desire burned a wasteland of me
Desire burned like decadence in me

My greatest fear is that I only loved writing. That was the impossible totality, the horror above all horrors, resurrecting every sunrise. In order to write, it was important that I always be yearning.

Like a blade at my fragile neck
You slipped from my fingertips
Beneath your flesh radiance and ruin
Burning horizons I am your awaited chaos 
I am your apocalypse 
This anguish of the void 
yes the flesh revolts in apocalypse— 
Madonna of the sorrows, Martyr of ash and marrow
They said flesh was apocalypse
But I was taught this fragile dawning decadence
Calypso of the half-moons in severance
I was fragmented dawn and its decadence
The screaming earth at its birth origins
I was this fragile dawn’s decadence
Liquidated at the first horizons
Madonna the Alchemist of Sunlight
you survived on the skylines
Desire the ice continent
The whirlwind witnessed me 
This life emerging from the fragments of a daydream
Lambs running through fields of lingering twilight 
Before dawn’s disappearance  
I rehearsed the darkness as it daydreamed 
Reminiscence from a diviner universe
To live and to perish in eternity
Or die in this cloudless city?
I was a dead thing dreaming decadence
My religion was the whirlwind 
Like the nectar daylight I survived by unraveling into light
We wandered into a daydream 
Dawn this decadence I dreamed
Dissolution from the floating moons 
Dawn this dark decadence leaving me
We made requiems for the sunlight 
Fragments of a daydream this life 
I was breaking dawn’s decadence burning with sunrise  
Desire this anguish like chasing after fickle winds
Katabasis I died for this decadence
Burning with the beasts of Eden and still reaching for miracles
I rehearsed the dreaming darkness
Unbelievably I was that decadence 
In the beginning God made the fragile oblivions 
Desire like the dark rivers of Orpheus 
I was the last dream of darkness
Survive the nighttimes Calypso of the twilights 
my religion was the whirlwind
Roving Madonna of the mountaintops
I wanted and I wanted with abandon 
This time the fire simmers in my fingertips 
This time I witnessed the miracles of fire shimmering under your skin
From the ravine my angel face the black rains
Face the darkness and call it an awakening
Madonna of the miracles of light
This is the veil of fire
This is how you survive the totality
Teetering on the edge of life
Angels apocalypse I surrendered to the midnight flesh
Decadent March I wanted you with abandon and I wanted you senselessly
Survive the black seas survive the dream’s testimonies
Survive the harbor of voids survive the silence of the voiceless
Like the faithless void, forsake awakening to the morning worlds
These vast eternities I spent sleeping in dark Sargasso Seas