Wherefore My Sorrow

I realized that I had to temporarily obliterate myself. Skies on fire, I witnessed such a bright sunrise burning before me. Ambush of summer eves, I am lush with the light, enslaved to your lucent eyes. Forfeit this brief life to the biting winds. Demiurge of the blooming moons, wherefore my sorrow? Give me shelter from myself. Dark Arcadia, I am fragile in your arms again. Chains of adamantine. My Beloved, I fear you are becoming a memory. Oblivion from Laundanum in the moonrise. I am on the brink of extinction. Seasons after seething seasons. I lived a life. In your teeth in the evening. I witnessed fire and brimstone in the voracious horizons. Devour me before the sluices of twilight. I Revel and I Revel and I am an animal again. Desire the vanquisher, the immortals cannot rival your divinity. I witnessed souls crossing the shores of apocalypse. Fashioning at the altar of flames. And then there will come softly dark rains. It’s ecstasy in your embrace. Bear me from this wasteland. Yes, I witnessed your growing voids again. Memory is torture. How I fear my need. How I fear awakening from this dream. Voracious horizons devouring me. Who desires eternity? Striving, the vanity of vanities. Desire, your dark gravity is sinking me. Desire, you vanquish me. I died for this Genesis. For the evanescent grace of your arms, I sacrificed eternity. It’s want, not need. I kneeled for mercy. Silos of shivering starlight, I witnessed— a world of bloodshed —treaded by vengeant angels. I lived a life. In your teeth in the jewel of evening. This fire against my flesh. Desire the Reaper, I fear my need. The fetters! of the fallen! I am an animal again. I witnessed. Paradise on fire. Annihilation, this is my inheritance. The indomitable will for survival. O fortuna, I fear it was laudanum at my lips. O fortuna, I witnessed, and I lived, I lived. Desire the vanquisher of eternity. Chasing everlasting radiances but they vanish in my palms. Desire burned like devastation in me. In your teeth in the evening. Even your god of metamorphosis does not fear me. Behold your world of bloodshed. It was want, not need. The fragility! Behold your godhead. Worship in the vespertine, I surrendered to your majesties. We lie wide awake waiting for our dreams. In the evenings, the lambent stars are feasting. Stigmata on my hands.

Achieving a desire is obliteration. Do not deliver me. Annihilation. Skies stained crimson, I witnessed such a bright sunrise burning before me. Buried alive by the radiant red rimmed horizons. In the beginning was a furious fire. The sovereignty! of desire! You who wages war, I am yours for vanquishing.

To be a writer is to live in a state of managed terror. We are all trapped here temporarily: that is the primordial terror. Nights of the new moon. I am beyond all wounds. Even you.