Ruination was a Garden to Me

Being an artist is the most ridiculous affliction. The world will collapse around you and you wonder: first, is this good material? And second, is my work any good? And the second will kill you because it’s the only thing that matters—the only thing that save you.

The crucible let it devastate you the ribs of the vorticity a thousand times it witnessed me yes I saw that vortex witness me to live inside the shattering a thousand times it shattered fragile me the devastation attested me it was a luminous annihilation existence that crucible annihilated me the rest of my shattered soul was singing it was luminous valiance it guided us the crucible of existence doomed us before I was born it was a god that sentenced me it was a god that resented me it was my freedom and my seeking that undid me ruination was a garden it was bombardment lumbering towards forsaken me who could survive the vorticity I was spiraling like a god-spirit even reality was pretend to me the fragility it witnessed me it was resistance inside the crucible we grew slowly the vortices! It was existence I was the worse for it still I wanted more it was a liquor of doom consuming forsaken me

I was witnessing a terrifying brilliance the fragility terrorized me I heard the universe I started it the terror that was dear dread to me you were the luminous thing I was wanting the skies were quiet I was wise to it I wanted to be undone the fragility needed me it was wise to me reality was bruising me I wanted a world of my own choosing the fragility was a guide to me and yes I raised it I was taken by it yes I fell into the twilight yes it was departing I had gone far for it status anxiety it was twilight to me the dissonant universe would not listen it was desire I couldn’t escape I called the fates and they dismissed me it was a betrayal to be disintegrating that Decay witnessed me it was declared at midnight the brutality was scared of me sanity I displaced was I wasting it suffocated me and I forgave it the moment was taken it was radiance that remembered me on a summers eve by radiance I was taken it was Bombardment and I wanted it

Ruination was a garden to me I had forgotten how it was growing in me I was a concubine of Waste it was not just necessary but reasonable to decay in gods graces yes I wasted it and it's wasting me it's taking me I can't breathe it was an eternity that I sipped like the roots of the god tree what an exhilarating drink it was a tempest that swept us finished on the embankments of Time that devastation remembered Us sipping eternity I was a thing that was vanishing it was a privilege to be witnessing I mean it was unrivaled agony I feared extinction I want life it was life that saw me in my witnessing I was a lunar thing unwinding the anxieties convulsing me in the mutating Night I could have sworn that the Brutality was frightened of forsaken me

You were the luminous thing I was losing and I would not let go you were the luminous thing killing me to meet the singularity without hesitating I WANT LIFE IT WAS A WILL THAT WAS EVOLVING I WANT LIFE AND I SAW THE SPLENDOR WHERE THE WORLD WAS ENDING! Witnessing was exquisite to me it was delicious to me freedom held a likeness to Eternity I was a prisoner in those weeks I feared the immensity would kill us returning to Ithaca lifted by the buoyancy immortality was a companion to me Life and the delight is that I wouldn't survive it