I resigned I sought the divine things I dreamt of a shelter that would hide me it was a brutality that resided in me like so many universes colliding it was a brutality that would find me a witness I listened to the spheres it was a brutality that silenced me I fled because I was frightened what the terror taught me and sought in me divinity it has to do with timing the lust for understanding I said God go now and I said that I wanted to know now Icarus with wings too high maybe I was okay with annihilation I cleaved into many selves for re-creation I made an art of disappearing no one could direct me it was the fragility that could not resurrect me
I survived by surrender by choosing not to be remembered a silence that spoke to me I was forgotten I died heaven was an endless hall the gods drank and mercilessly laughed as they watched me fall there is a terrible beauty in stillness I made a holiday list of all the things that will kill me
To be subsumed first by the angels and then by you it was a brutality that slept in me and I wanted it wrested from me it was a darkness I unearthed a darkness I birthed and the pains had me screaming as a newborn babe it found me from the heel of Hell I raised it fearless to fight the abyss and now I carry on in bliss well not only am I not frightened but I I see the starlight
All of the violence I wrought and founded while it was the brutality that bound me I forfeit and I forget I learned I could bear witness without being essential to it it was the brutality that missed me the brutality that witnessed me for a moment I wanted the world to weep for me a daisy growing after the apocalypse my wounded soul and I wanted to know I saw my universe destroyed and I wanted more of it my selfishness and my cruelty I thought they would undo me do not fear God when God fears you like a divinity I wrote it word by word and we know we both know it was the brutality that could not let me go
It was a poison and I let it grow it was a horror that embroiled me and it was a trap that I felt the fates had unrolled for me and I would not I would not let the brutality forget me so yes I chase speeding cars! yes I held out my arms to receive the starlight! it was the brutality that like a shadow stalked me and I said farewell and let go let it be and be and it was so
