Time devastated me an anger rested in me I had supposed I was free I was a dark continent displaced I was a wavering thing on the verge of disintegrating the end of the world was accelerating I dreamt in dissent radiance—it was pain wasn't it I wanted God to kill us the pressure to be perfect—it was pain wasn't it in the twilight I was a witness I forgot the world was dangerous I thought destroying myself was resistance could you die from wanting both desire and death wore disguises YES I SCREAMED INTO THE SILENCE I dreamt of heights and their hauntings and I fear I wanted—