I was a thing that was missing in my head I was a titan in my head I was frightened I was either unsurvivable or a divine thing I felt the victories of fire the passages of Time were incriminating it was divine to me to be witnessing a river of fire in the darkness of this wilderness a token of grace wasted on me what do we do with our lives! what now! why hide! we lived—don't say it was a coincidence—we lived yes I fear existence would Miss us dare I say it I think I was scared when that devastation visited us! The end of the world was decided dissolution found me decaying was like a gift to me what was the point of resistance the days I wasted and the days I say they wasted me you were going to destroy me well I was wasting willingly I surrendered myself to stillness I wanted vengeance to end us—yes we lived! I was drunk on it! We lived! I was sick with it

The days were always beginning and ending I longed for distant things I was always wanting and there was I grieving for what I don't know it was leaving me the violence of memory the violence was like a ghost to me yes I kept it close to me! Everything was collapsing I wanted it perhaps dust to dust it was divine to me reality was disenchanting I survived by dreaming do you fear it the violence of memory? Even decay was like Life to me Desire burned like devastation in me it was hiding in me as a secret history I survived by dreaming and when everything collapsed I wanted it perhaps?