Radiance

Was it destiny I feared it might be Time decomposed us when all that violence chose us I wanted to be an immortal it was World Enough for us despair had me in chains I wrestled in the bindings and I longed to be free at the god-gate it was radiance that had changed it was revelation and I was late it was a war that waited on wings for prolonging the brutality the World in its infinite games wasted me the pain was like a guardian to me and I needed to grieve even the cacophony was pleasing to me it was a dream I had I don’t know how to reverse damage Discordance I couldn't bear its torment the danger I fear it rested beside me shelter from a season of storms Chaos I danced with the flux and yes I fear that Devastation witnessed us DESIRE BURNED LIKE DEVASTATION WITHIN ME A SPRINT IN HELL WAS LIKE VACATION TO ME EVEN THE RADIANCE WAS LIQUIDATING THE END OF THE WORLD WAS HESITATING THE INSECURITY WAS LIKE A VIPER TO ME DESIRE WAS LIQUIDATING ME—AND THERE WAS I WITNESSING

The Beloved

The clouds were guessing me you were impossible to please yes even that void was a peace to me perhaps dying was too easy Greed I pretended it was wisdom descent or transcendence it was radiance I wanted it was radiance I had forgotten the universe I fear it did not hear us it was a fervent eternity that I lost to the seasons and there was I witnessing I gave up on the world so the world gave up on me there was eminence in dying peace resisted me would war end us before I surrendered wanting you was haunting me I wanted to bury the past but I fear it remembered us Time bore witness that violence was behind us it was rapture that I sought existence was exhausting desire burned like devastation within me I DREAMT OF DELIGHT I CRIED OUT YOUR NAME INTO THE LIQUID LIGHT

I Was a Wavering Thing

Time devastated me I had supposed I was free a dark continent displaced I was a wavering thing on the verge of disintegrating the end of the world was accelerating I dreamt in dissent radiance—it was pain wasn't it? I wanted God to kill us the pressure to be perfect—it was pain wasn't it? In the twilight I was a witness I forgot the world was dangerous I thought destroying myself was resistance could you die from wanting? desire and death wore disguises YES I SCREAMED INTO THE SILENCE

Radiance

Time devastated me elation I wanted radiance I danced in the devastation I heard the universe singing decay and doom in single file it was hell rampaging insanity was like reason to me the void was kind to me daylight was frightening the end of the world was glistening it was fate I mean God played us 

Persecution

My heart quickened I resided in violence yes even that VOID was a kindness I screamed into the moon mountains spiral after spiral it was desire I encountered resistance the universe would not listen I was as dead as an artifact Night like a vulture feasted on me even the end of the world was pleasing to me it was violence I wrought and violence I was taught God tried to drown me it was a violence that had found me when Darkness drew its shroud I feared I wanted to be drowned by the black banks of the riverside forsaken the sky was alight with fire fields persecution, I was swallowed by storm season

Vespers

The green country of May held me captive I made a covenant with decay I waited in the wreckage deep in the cradle of darkness do not diminish me God of the wilderness I was sure I was finished I knelt below the bones of the summer stars to meet each apocalypse I resided in violence even that VOID was a kindness Queen of deferment in torment I was resigned to— I felt it was kind to— Vespers a gold-gossamer sunset wrested from me I traced the blooming lightning I fled I fell I followed an eldritch sorrow graceless Dawn and its sharp teeth could not console me I dreamt of delight I cried out your name into the liquid light YES I HEARD THE FOOTSTEPS OF GOD MARCHING ON YES EVEN I WANTED ME GONE IT WAS THAT RECURRING NIGHTMARE THAT SOUGHT ME ON AS IF CRISSCROSSING SOME DARK ISTHMUS I WAS SURE I WAS FINISHED THE UNIVERSE WOULD NOT LISTEN I could not bear my imprisonment while the stars scintillated the World was as a Wound as a system with its pulleys and shifting gears and I feared summers sibilance my beauty was resistance dreaming of sepulchral streetlamps like druids of mist and I, I witnessed
I was sure I was finished 

The Hollowing

I was always doomed by my extravagances. I had this requirement that everything be beautiful and when it wasn’t, I couldn’t survive. My hubris and my insecurity have peaked. Everywhere there was death like a carcass in my wake or a decomposing thing in my embrace I decay I dissipate in gods graces yes I chased it hollowed out with void in my gaze, I was a concubine of Waste and I was waiting for

Je suis hanté

Je suis hanté. L'Azur! l'Azur! l'Azur! l'Azur!

It was Time that Brutalized me it was Time that had its fruits in me it was a greed that dismembered me a brutality that remembered me I was lost somewhere in space and time the corpses of old moons crumbled to decay it was that thief Time my erstwhile servant that Decomposed me day after day

Deus Ex Machina

and slowly as if from a machine it resurrected me, as if from a dream it resurrected me

My Year of Picnicking and Panicking

I do nothing but watch the years sink me.

In Another Kingdom

I was never any good at normal things. Time was a grave of kings.

I pressed my face to the cold glass of God, I

RUN ME OVER IN YOUR TESLA RUN ME OVER IN YOUR TESLA

The Kingdom of Heaven

My pride bankrupted me ravenous I fell down Jerusalem slopes sinking like stones despair and decadence in the garden of God it was unprecedented you seemed like this eternal being I was wanting darling I was dying even the daylight was forbidding decaying in a daydream I was this WIZENED thing as if pirouetting into a barrel of fire and yes I feared I was undesirable ! It was so precious to me for a moment I was disintegrating teetering over the abyss and I, I witnessed—

Aftershocks

I was a shivering withering inconstant thing my life in forbearance a devouring Dream that I got what I wanted I was a bubbling well of insecurity still I wanted the gods to fear me and yes I would let it wound me in the throttling darkness I decay I devour I dissipate by the hour in gods graces yes I tasted it yes I waited for it and the moment it arrived like a resurrection in the morning light

Vacant Skies

The sun turns black, earth sinks in the sea,
The hot stars down from heaven are whirled;
Fierce grows the steam and the life-feeding flame,
Till fire leaps high about heaven itself.
Völuspá 57

Returning to Olympus

I was in the business of squandering the pain was patient as it lay waste to me I fled from a fever of fictions I was Time dysphoric I suffered distortions like the eyes of an aspen tree I could have sworn that God was watching me I felt my neck rising upwards towards the glimmering guillotine I was chartered across a golden fire-sea while that great snake Knowing slithered around me I stood on the precipice of an abyss and I witnessed! I was a creature of the clouds I danced in hallowed halls I swung between despair and euphoria nor could the scythe of Danger harvest me, nor could I be intimidated! Everything is perfect and yes I fear it! I wait I waste in gods graces I tasted it

The Troubles

SO WHAT IF the sun round me rolled in its autumn tint of gold? Worlds are forever dying and then being reborn. Remember when I kicked you out of my life and then you left? Gods or men, I wanted attention.

Like a slumbering sphinx my eyes were shut to things I did not want Witnessing me I drifted in daylight I suffocated on the precipice of suicide suspended at twilight I slept in daydreams I was a vase a vessel a waste within the carcasses of Oblivion like dark honeycomb I was broken and it was for the backlash of the angels that I was chosen caught like a creature in a capture net it was carnage that I wrought a lilting angel of Lilith I wilted when I witnessed I tilted like a misdirected Earth I dreamt up an abyss beneath my feet in a Hollywood garage I couldn’t survive without reason it was a fervent Eternity that I lost to the seasons I dayspring I daysleep I dissipate encased in Time’s spiral I sought smoke in the year of the snake my mind resigned me it sought me so and so it does no good to go I went sidewise with the tidal waves of the highways and by the banks of the white limestone earth I was cursed I suffered a half-moon collapse and, yes, by the jaws of Hell I was swiftly snatched the hounds snapped at my slender ankles like a thundering shore and, even with that, I was bored!

Song of creation the rope of an angel was at my neck it was the vestige of a decadent empire they wanted to protect the annunciation of carnage that I wanted to forget

Wandering in a Sea of Fog

The destruction was the work of angels
We could lie on fields of daisies at the end of Time

Stranger Things

I wouldn’t wake I wouldn’t wait it was a fear that dearly lingered I split Time it was a fear that surrounded me the wilting of a world that was Mine in waiting I wanted I wasted I wavered in reverie I dreamt I was a dead thing I drowned in dreams it was Gehenna burning bound in gauze-like gossamer inside the eye of God I was trapped like a moth in glass as in a Greek tragedy forsaken I fled my fate and it found me