OK I WILL ACCEPT 100 MILLION DOLLARS FROM ELON MUSK IN RETURN FOR NOTHING

OK I WILL ACCEPT 200 MILLION DOLLARS FROM ELON MUSK IN RETURN FOR NOTHING 

The Insurgency

Gardenias of the evenings
I was free then 
Born again like a resurrection rose of Jericho 
and I would go ! I would go!
with the Ancient Ones 
Madonna of the Plagues
On the world’s wings
Like I was a vanished thing
I was vanishing and the planet was singing
There Was Decadence in Despair
That Darkness is no Door
This is the Rapture you waited for 
Dance of thieves
Desire on wings 
I panicked—
I panicked—
Midnight was in fragments
I was a Sappho of the Moths 
Executed by the eyelids of God 
The necessity of exile 
and I would die I would die 
Desire departing at twilight 
Like I was a far thing 
Desire like fire-fever at midnight 
execution in the eyelids of God 
endangered Ophelia with a water-lily soul
—and I sought
like a Shepherd of the Chosen Ones 
The winters were brilliant 
and I panicked 
I panicked
Because it was summerfire 
The Grace that Comes by Violence
Oblivion was a Madhouse
Call me a sacrificed thing 
and I sought it—
and I wanted—
and I was forgotten—
God is blackglass 
God is briarfire
Reverie
Deep in the wanting earth 
It was desire living like light
I outrun dawns
The cold gods rose—
A Miracle of Fishes in the Flames 
Blackthorn births in the dark earths 
The lion and the knife 
There were so many ways to die
AND I PANICKED
LEVIATHAN OF THE ASPENS 
THE EVENTS!
WHO COULD RESURRECT THEM
THE EVENTS! 
WHO COULD FORGET THEM 
There Was Decadence in Despair
That Darkness is no Door
This is the Rapture you waited for 
Heir of good firs 
I was rolling in the Motel Mornings
cataloguing the graces
and I wasted
and I wasted
I prayed into the liquid light—
into the cold glass of God—(I died)
Even I wanted me gone—
on a Motel Morning 
and I outrun Dawn
and I outrun Dawn 
and I was gone—
and I was gone— 
Resurrection fire
Like revelations I needed 
Rolling towards me 
On a Motel Morning 

Rapture

There Was Decadence in Despair
That Darkness is no Door
This is the Rapture you waited for 

Trapped in Amber

Let me tell you of the redundancy of the Void 
Let me tell you the brutality of what I chose

MADONNA OF THE GOOD FIGS
BURNING IN BETHLEHEM 
IT WAS EXISTENCE AND I WITNESSED—
ASHES TO ASHES, TRAPPED AMBER IN REPOSE
AND THEN A SPRING ROSE! 
I WAITED
I WASTED
I WANTED 
I SOUGHT IT 
A REVELATION I HAD FORGOTTEN
DESIRE BURNED LIKE DEVASTATION IN ME
IT WAS RADIANCE TO ME
IT WAS QUAKING IN ME
IT WAS A GRAVE TO ME
ROSETTA OF THE RIOTING DAWN
—AND I WAS GONE
I WAS GONE
ASHES TO ASHES, TRAPPED AMBER IN REPOSE
AND THEN A SPRING ROSE! 

Madonna in the Mist

(I DO NOT CARE HOW SHORT MY LIFE ENDS UP BEING
SPENDING IT AROUND SUCH PEOPLE WILL ALWAYS MAKE IT SHORTER
I STOPPED CARING BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT WORTH THE CARING
EVEN GOD DOES NOT BOTHER TO SPY ON YOU!
TRIPLE TONGUE OF CERBERUS
IT WAS EXISTENCE WASN’T IT
AND I WITNESSED—)

Madonna of the good mists
Insufficiency was like a drain of the stars in my veins
I wanted to watch the terrors as they came
It was existence, wasn’t it?
And I witnessed—
Flaming dawn, existence like a grave
It was burial in time
And I waited for it—
Existence like a morning haunt
I wanted and I got it golden
and I was gone—(I was gone—)
It was golden eternity in a day
and I witnessed
Madonna of the Good Mists
She fell in the obituaries of oblivion
I had forgotten the golden god
Madonna of the Good Mists
And I forgot where I lived
I witnessed the end of oblivion
It was Madonna of the Good Mists
orchestrating existence
Testament of the flesh
A creature of shadows haunted me
Madonna she followed me
And I witnessed the ends
An infinity of times
It was derelict Eternity
Madonna of the night winds
what wildebeests woke to war and wilderness
ye saints of little faith
you left light in decay
madonna of the seas and shores
madonna of the golden eternities
resignation
I wanted the holy spectacle of revelation
Madonna of the Good Mists
I was an ornament of existence
Insufficiency like a dearth of stars in my veins
yes desire was gripped in my teeth like I was wolfing thing
Madonna of the Good Mists came
and I sought
Like I was a forgotten thing of god
I marched towards that ecstasy
Like it needed desire from me
darkness unraveling into holiness
Storm waves I was sinking as ophelia in a water grave
Ye saints of little faith
You left light in decay
Madonna of the seas and shores
Madonna of the golden eternities
I wanted the spectacle of revelation
Ornament of existence
Insufficiency like a dearth of stars in my veins
Storm-waves I was sinking as Ophelia in a water grave
I doubted that the stars are fire
Existence weightless as a tempest of fire
Doubt that the stars are fire
Doubt that the storms of god were dying
Requiem fire, I was vanishing like the wilds
The ecclesiastes of fireflies
Summerfire under the brutality of desire
White oblivion capsizing as voyaging starlight
I wanted eternity to die
Ageless dawn, how many earths have you seen gone?
Genesis like a bruise
The grandeur of God, I had forgotten
Figment of Oblivion, I witnessed—
I had forgotten the golden God
Madonna of the Good Mists lived on
Begotten eternities when all the gods had forgotten me
Madonna of the good mists, I was her archivist
The miracles of light
I feared like killing fields of desire
(and I melted into Miraculous Eternity)
(like it was a Hidden Earth to me)

God of the Wilderness

“The first week of August hangs at the very top of summer, the top of the live-long year, like the highest seat of a Ferris wheel when it pauses in its turning.” Natalie Babbitt

God of the Wilderness
God of Revelation
God of the Devastations
God of Furnace and Fire
God of Creation
God of the Devastations

Doubt that The Stars Are Desire

“I refused to admit that I was traveling towards what I could not reach. Apathy robbed me of the strength even to despise myself.” Solaris

“Am I a monster, or is this what it means to be a person?” Clarice Lispector
 
Madonna of black fire Madonna of the Good Books Madonna of the briarthorns like hooks in the darkness Madonna of the black figs Madonna like a Martyr of Avalon mists
Madonna of blackfire briarthorns Madonna of blackfire figs
Madonna as a Martyr of Avalon mists
Desire was a will-of-the-wisp in the marshed darkness
Flower flesh blooming in a fire palimpsest
I was Gatsby on the banks dreaming of light harvesting
Destiny bombarding me like sparks of fire chaos creation
Call me tainted as the sins of Desire’s serpent
Madonna of black briars in captivity
Madonna of flames assemblages in the dark engines of Earth roaring
Vespertine of the deeps
IT WAS MADONNA THAT UNFURLED IN ETERNITY
Like the Darkness sleeve beyond the veil of forever sleep
She was Madonna of mimesis
and I was hidden myself
Allegiant to angel-flesh in extinction of experience 
Evil was the silverlily of existence 
I burned in the honeyed interiors of golden hills
Madonna of the stars’ eldritch fire
Vanishing into shadows as if I were a killed thing
Madonna of the holy trees like an ancient cathedral of the earth we needed
I was Nobody in the Cyclops cave
with the bones of a newborn
Chaos from the Rapture of Revelation
I suffered the collisions of accumulated griefs
Nostos to the morning light
I wanted to live I wanted to die
Madonna of the black sand beaches
Cycling through obsessions like seasons of Hellfire
It was desire like a vicious vipered thing unwinding into the wilding veins of Existence
To exist was a masquerade of fire fevers
I couldn’t surpass the infinities
I dreamt of delight
I cried out your name into the liquid light
Confined as a lattice of ribs behind flower flesh 
I burned in crucibles of blue fire that lived like light
Beheld the mutating grandeurs of God 
and then I forgot 
I do not have safety I do not have bliss 
I do not have someone to save me from the extinctions 
She was Madonna of mimesis
and I was hidden myself
I seized the burning kingdom of Grief
Radiating light maybe every being was a screaming thing wanting  
Womb of the world
Like folded doors to echoing eternity  
and! so! much! of! existence! was! swallowed! by! grief!
I was a formless thing
I was the silence shattering 
The killing fields of desire
Existence like the intoxication of a Sphinx
It was a Riddle reverberating from the Deep
and I needed your light! Living inside me!
Irreversible perfection I surrendered to summerfire
An assemblage of fire as the void of a tiger’s innards
and I needed to fill the interstices of Time
I witnessed the end of all things
Like a blessing of summerfire in spring
I was a burning Madonna with no one to witness my killing it was existence like a chamberless Hell that I lived in and I could hear the bells of Revelation angels dragging me to the deeps for completion
and I needed—I needed—
Escape from that Promethean fire desire like a ravine in the deeps
Sacrilege I beheld the fractured face of god
Who would accept the vow of a robber?
Cowardice was its own punishment
Fire with sun-scorched salamanders
I witnessed insensible Eternity
Desire like a carousel of painful revelries 
And the pain was a beautiful weapon to me
Madonna of Galilee
Madonna, too, of the black seas
baptized by beauty
I walked in the Mysticism of Fire
it was Desire in my Visions
Like a worshipped thing from The Everlasting
Fire-flowers in Paradise Pastures
wherewhen God was a walking thing witnessing Eve
The beginning of Time was Light
Like a will-of-the-wisp in the marshed mist
Why did it kill me to contemplate the things that I chose
THE AFTERGLOW OF THE COSMOS
LIKE THE LIMPID LIGHT FROM AURORAS IN ARCTIC SKIES
I prayed for terrible things like a temple of Grief
No time for caution in the shimmering twilight
That angel hunter, desire!
dissolving the riptides of spaceTime
The liquidation of light it was desire that witnessed me like a reverie in my vision the liquidating light of desire like a fever that I needed
THERE WAS HUBRIS IN SEEKING TO CONTAIN ALL THE LIGHT
IT WAS AN EXTRAVAGANCE OF FIRE I WANTED
IT WAS AN EXTRAVAGANCE OF FIRE LIKE GOLDEN SEAS OF DESIRE THAT I CHARTED
IT WAS AN EXTRAVAGANCE OF FIRE THAT HAD FORGOTTEN ME
I rested on the banks of devastation
Desire was killing me like I was a fragile thing
Atlas I carried the gravity of my grief
Saint or sinner I was a mystic thing in existence
Tesseracting like the tendons of eels
yes, I was a traitor to fear
Desire like a Liquidating Eternity In Finite Play
Desire that Descended Dawn’s Darkness Into Dark Day
Even survival was a savagery
it was desire as sharp as a Series of Stakes
that had me quivering in ribbons of light
I walked in the mysticism of fire
Like a worshipped thing from The Everlasting
The end of the world simmering in a whirlwind
Grave of God and I sought—
and I sought—
Heir of darkness
and I was forgotten
I was forgotten
like a thief in the cliffs of night
I was a Vespertine roaming the forgotten foothills of moonlight like temples to the chosen gods
dreaming of another life
dreaming of another life
Last lamb in the divine silences
I heard the swan songbirds
of another Earth
THE VOIDS ACCRETED
I LOVED! THEREFORE I NEEDED NOTHING!
It was a promising annihilation
to be forgiven by that shapeshifter Silence
and its orchestrations of light
It was desire living in me
Evangelion of the Last Lamb lost in the wilds
God I wish
my life had been different

The Extravagances of Fire

Summer trade winds, dusk came with dragonfly wings 
Fire apocalypse in summer
I was burning like fire fever
Apocalypse in a golden threaded Eternity
I wanted impossible things like summerfire in spring 
angel of repose 
in the distillery of Friday evening 
THE CARNAGE
I burned like the honeyed interiors of golden hills 
the insurgents! of sunlight! 
keeping the day alive 
like poisoned blades of violent Heaven 
The tides! the shattering of the light! 
so many storms on the horizon
avalanches of the leviathans 
vanishing me 
desire I splintered like sunlight 
the forsaken armed with hurricane lamps 
It was desire like liquidating Doom
and I felt Eternity carving me into Ellipses 
Numinous Night of the Hunter
The crown I found it 
I Read It In The Runes 
The angels ashes to dust! To dust! 
the lamentations were husks of light
and I died—I died— 
I was quilted into stillness 
Fire eternities like asylums of brutal silences and I was dying and it was briarfire blueness from Eternity echoing in the Killing fields of Kyrie
Disenchanted by the fever of the Earth
and I panicked—I panicked— 
The excesses! of evenings!
on the sublime brink
reposing on lakeshores I rose and rose 
in the Belly of the Sky Behemoth 
I gathered starlight in the springs
beneath the bruises from evening that I chose
and I could feel a war brewing 
The sky was a bleeding immensity that had me in its fiery wings
Summer monsoons like a hangman's noose 
and I catalogued the extravagances of fire I’d surrender for you

Epiphany

I was afraid of being known. To be understood terrified more than the haunting armies of trees and I wanted. to be hidden. like chandeliers of starlight at dawn it was desire that would unearth me into Eternity.

IT WAS ALWAYS WORTH THE TROUBLE DON’T YOU KNOW CHANDELIER OF THE SUN I WAS DONE LIKE A FINISHED THING WITNESSING THE EXISTENCES LIFE WAS A SENTENCING AND I WANTED OUT I WAS WITNESSING IT WAS EXQUISITE EXISTENCE THAT FINISHED ME I HAD VOIDS LIKE HOMES AND I WAS A GRAVE OF BEING KNOWN I WAS A CHANDELIER OF THE SUN WITNESSING AND THAT WITNESSING SENTENCED ME LIKE CHANDELIERS OF STARLIGHT AT DAWN
AND I WAS GONE
I WAS GONE
DESIRE HAD ME QUAKING AND I WAS A GRAVE OF STARLIGHT
AND I WAS GONE
I WAS GONE
DO NOT LOOK AT ME SO STRANGELY
I WAS COLLAPSING AROUND THE SUN LIKE A CHANDELIER
THE GLASS OF THE SKY WAS SHATTERING LIGHT
IT WAS AN EPIPHANY LIKE A SUMMER TRIP AROUND THE RIVERS OF SINKING
I WANTED THE SUMMERS TO SURVIVE INTO THE SPRINGS
I WAS A RAVINE DESIRING DESIRE HAD ME SINKING ME
AND THERE WAS I SINKING IN SUMMER SPRINGS
I WANTED A FINISHED SELF BUT EXISTENCE HAD ME IN PIECES
AND I WAS BORED OF THE EPIPHANIES

I was a Ravine

When I see a power line at midnight, I see myself, and I don’t know why.

The devil and his cavalry!
Death met me 
Death led me 
It was July under a late moon
Calling me to survival
I was dying in desire under a late moon
Like a ruination garden 
It was killing me like victory
my destiny in depleting each summer eve
Incineration angel, fever like a flame  
I dreamt of you witnessing me one summer eve
summerfire killing me like desire
and I grieved! I grieved!
A golden golem of god
the daymoon felt me kindling
Like a Nazarene in the tomb of existence 
And I witnessed the golden oblivion
it was singing my name and I believed like a moth to a flaming light it had me singing desire fever in my flesh! the hulls of Hell's ships burning in my eyes! the soft of snowfall it was survival like fire that I longed for a frozen songbird wounded in the wastes of ice it was death that met me in the hulls of Hell and would not forget me the wounding was like a scripture of golden oblivion I slumbered on the eves Desire submitted to me one summer eve in surrender and I witnessed— 
Summer storms and rains 
Like the soft of snowfall 
And I'm sorry I stayed 
Lightning in the veins 
It was a nightmare with limbs 
appendages of dark apocalypse 
I was dead as a Dahlia in the fields
Salt mercury sulfur 
Meeting my maker in the summers sacrament 
I was more creature than creation 
Ophelia sleeping in the water lilies of existence
Grief was an angel speaking 
Stakeout I forgot my ambition 
And I forgot! That I wanted to finish them! 
Hadean era in the black summer skies
Yes I made a catalogue of the gods that deserted me 
Chambermaid in the the nights of Time  
I was a creature forged of fire flame 
The summer cracked like lightning
scarred from the slender deeps of Lethe 
that vanishing isle Desire like the rebellion of angels 
emerging from the dark fist of twilight
into the commandments of fire I made them ash 
from the Banishing flames of cherubim 
Mountains of the marching darknessl
Mountains of the marshed darkness
Where did you wander wife of Cain 
The streetlights were slumbering 
A flood zone of resurrection fire
it was twinkling like desire to me
the rising! the rising of the light!
it wasted inside me 
annihilation in the star minefields
The miracles! The miracles!  
I was a frozen songbird encased in ribbons of ice 
Like Narcissus leaning into shallow pools of disembodied gods
Mountains of the marching darkness
Mountains of the marshed darkness
Briars in captivity
Poisonwood thornblood it was desire killing me 
I made my homes valleys of bones 
Soul-eating sun hierophant in a gospel of Gold  
a menagerie of divinities that wanted to kill me
It was a delicacy
to be eaten by God 
even the sky has stitches 
and I witnessed 
the star settlements erupting 
into the moon’s grotto 
empire of light on the fire cliffs 
I hid like a leviathan of the night 
Fire on the golden roads to the marvelous land 
I summoned storms in my homes 
THE KINDLING 
emperor of ethereal visions
I was Lazarus risen 
Appetite in my ribs 
Like a labyrinth of wanting 
I endured extinction
Newborn in the lungs of the earth 
The Heart Started as a Stone
It was atonement 
the wash of living starlight crying in my collarbones it was atonement for desire like a corridor of time we were in the foothills of bone birch like a labyrinth of desire a fire in the foothills of time and I wanted it mine the hollows of
My throat were voids I was a moth looking for moonlight I was dying on the fractals
Of desire and the stars paraded their light I was at their whispering riverbanks begging for entry
I was a vessel of the sea 
Had the loneliness of foghorns stitched into me 
Had the loneliness forgotten me 
But it made me wiser
and I witnessed 
The supreme things 
In the meadow
In the sea 
Those supremacies were witnessing me 
Finding me unfinished 
Lying on the whispering riverbanks 
And I witnessed 
In the meadow 
In the sea 
The devastations 
Like angels levitating  
Wanting I wouldn’t advise it 
It was desire that was killing me like a summer star like a summer spring Oblivion I was swimming in with the burning bulbs of existence figments of fire and I witnessed—the dark unearthing me like a sleeve of Void I was a Ravine of desiring dying in the ornament of time 
I realized vanity was ambition and desire was entitlement and I wanted like a dew in the dark and I loved you like a far thing and you were distant as where the day breaks and the horizon cracks lightning 
Flowers from foghorns blooming with burning bulbs
Desire I knew it would unearth me 
In the meadow in the sea 
gloaming 
From the cold worlds of the moon 
The night shattered like glass of Milkweed 
Fire on the golden roads, fire groves on the glory roads 
I was a ravine witnessing the torched void rising 
station of summer’s dusk  
I needed a train ride to freedom
desire had imprisoned me in the glades of wanting
Martyr of red tides 
Providence was it existence
Redeeming me in Rowan 
I wanted abundance 
I dreaded abundance 
The sacraments! golden gods swarming summer 
Belladonna in a Corset of darkness
and the world was dead deer
I was a hatchling of existence
Living in the lungs of earth
In the hornets nest
In the hollows of my throat 
Blueblood eyes like bruises 
I wanted you perishing inside of me 
Genesis was a burning cloak
We heard the lilting of angels 
Before the silences 
I was a Ravine desiring
and I witnessed—

Chandelier of the Sun

I could never decide if I felt everything more or less than other people. Living on the edge of feeling being a solitude being a dead thing resting on the riverbanks of death sabbath in the diptych of dead stars 

I’m glad I left you behind I needed the freedom the sun was a chandelier with light like sabers in the star shallows I was too much of a coward for the lives I feared drinking the dew of the heavens my life became a funhouse mirror of the Weird during that skeleton of summer when the silver of the Machines was glittering in my throat and yes I choked the end of the world was a reverie in my vision there were deer among the yew tree needles in heavenly Oblivion

I was starved by wanting dreaming of Heaven’s craters life was a mindless guillotine of Oblivion its black mountain springs drowning me like a deer in the diptych of existence the end of the world was a reverie in my vision and I witnessed—

The Extravagances

for [REASONS REDACTED] I disassociated 
Why did I think it was necessary to spend so many years trying to figure out who I was? As if it mattered? 

There were sleeping ships on the horizon 
I wanted a version of the truth but it was a void of my choosing 
Flash fires from the latticed Heavens 
My life failed to be miraculous 
The delirium of a dream
yes my greed dawned on me
reveler of Bleeding evening in repose 
I was a starved creature feasting
on the roulette of existence 
every wild exhilaration
was a graveyard of dreams 
surrendering to the stinging winds 
THE EXTRAVAGANCES 
WERE KILLING ME
Daybreak dawn I wandered on 
the borderlands of Oblivion 
blooming like an aurora in summer’s sibling spring 
THE HEAT! RESTING IN ME!
dare I say it was a fever I needed
I vanished into dusk
and then that bloodless oblivion remembered us
desire like a lightning storm
there was devotion in devastation
and I was warned— I was warned—
The tempests of Eternity wounding me
like a sickle of starlight
death bearing her jagged fangs
I dreamt of divine things 
THE MAGNITUDES! OF ALL THINGS!
as fountains of light surging before my eyes 
and still I wanted to die
in the killing fields of flaming stars 
Moonlight it was desire ecstatic like an evening tide
that had me gilded as firelight 
THE BRUTALITY! LIKE BLACK STREAMS OF LETHE! 
and everyone was forgetting me
even the divinities
in female fashion I suffered like flesh
I was a fawn in floodwaters
sleeping in the rivers of Oblivion
in bewilderment I witnessed 
the cacophony of brokenness
Vermillion it was a red apocalypse
a thousand figs like a fever of Vesuvian fire in my fingertips
but I was afraid of them all 

Child of Dust

Fire-scorcher
Heaven was a hostility of light
like a blood sacrifice
desire choreographed us
into catastrophe
I held reliquaries of stillborn figs
we were lion lambs
ambushed in the starving seasons
months like sinkholes
Magdalena of moth wings
I was a revenant in rapture
from the necromancer moon
if a wishbone was the origin of the world
it was devotion to devastation
I dreaded
Possession
by the zealots of heaven
my redeemer—the Fury!
I feared the enchantments
I was a sibyl of no consequence
there were screams in summer’s sacrament
vanishing like vapor on the roads
and I chose
to be wounded
as an ornament of God

Enigma

Swimming in Time’s river basin 
The waves were black and bone 
on the brink of summer fire season the banks of despair 
somehow summer fire season like a spring Persephone had taken 
and I made the fire my home 
and I kept wondering 
why every summer fire season it was quaking 
how many silted summers would I have to sink in 
every summer fire season had me in survival 
every summer fire storm and I was alive and 
I remember what you did and it was terrible 
Like a cruel spring I had to survive to get here
The lady vanishes! in summer fire!
and it was survival that
had Taken
me  
power lines at midnight
the lady vanishes!
in a panicked state
it was despair (not desire) in Decadence
that had me sinking
in summer fires 
like a sunken season that
had Taken
me
an eternity
under your marauding Eyes
like setting suns
the lady vanishes!
into regret
decadent Hell
it was despair (not desire) 
that had me sinking
in summer fires 
the lady vanishes!
into a season of survival
there was living lightning in my ribs
and I needed—

God of the Gale

I had forgotten how much I wanted 
Our sun was like a golden golem 
Rising every dawn 
The name of God 
At the gaping jaws of silted horizons 
Bloody sunrises like gashes in the skies 
Call me viper 
Heavens tether was a gallows rope 
I wanted an exorcism 
It wasn't enough
God of the gale 
I had forgotten how much I wanted— 
Eros like a crown of thorns 
Burning in the glass coffins of every blood sunrise every moonless horizon like a golden golem rising from the felled earth 
There was razorlight at the nape of my neck
nor could I forget
a God of the gale
was diving from the wreck 

The Squalor

Soothsayer of the low tides
and I wanted to die 
I wanted to die  
That dark horizon had me singing
and for a time I was limitless
Feed the machine? Well, I was screaming  
In the tombs of Eternity 
Daylight’s anvil in the squalor summer 
Surrendering to soundless chaos
and I vanished
I vanished into wonder   
That dark horizon was feeding me
and for a time I was limitless 
In the cauldron of existence
Living lightning flashed in my eyes
Imagine eternities in tongues of fire like flaming graces
and I wasted and I wasted and I chased it 
Summer skies swollen with storms 
I was a peasant of the meadows
but it was irradiated wasteland 
The moon had winged shadows
and I panicked 
I panicked in Time
Tessellating storms on the skylines the moon was in a reservoir it was splendor and squalor on a moonshine sea but I was sinking in the Machines like a cyborg thing
and I wasted and I wasted and I wasted and I chased it
and the stars were twinkling in repose
and the apertures were arresting me 
it was a sorcery of light I chose
but for flaming grace I chased that agony with nothing to lie upon
and I was gone and
I was gone 
Symphony of the four winds 
my eyes were restless evangelists 
Vanishings in the tombs of golden afternoons 
I wanted every golden eve I held
and I wanted them to— 
the planet was singing like desire to me  
there was darkness in the universes Adamantine
and I vanished
I vanished with Time
Lantern over the abyss 
I was an angel of the apocalypse
and I witnessed the ends
An infinity of times

Devotion

Devotion was killing me 
I was speechless  
Moon fish leaping out of mist
Holy fires in the god-garden 
Day delirium (I was dying) 
Confinement in the miracles 
(I witnessed) 
(The end of all things)
(Like a blessing)
(From the cold rivers of Heaven)

Falcon's Nest

Bard of the shattering stars 
Heaven was a restless mezzanine 
And I was robbing daylight in a frenzy
Remembering the people that had forgotten me  
Sleeping beauty on a bed of blooming thorns
The moon was wounded like me 
Metamorphosis—I would burn 
In the grandeur of fire 
Desire was my coffin 
We were dragged into acres of Heaven
By cherubim 
The verdicts of mirrors was a minefield 
Diamond cutting morning light 
We were Wounded in the god-tomb of life
A feasting falcon’s nest 
Aching autumn was no birthright 
And I feared we wouldn’t arrive 

Hierophant

All the lives I never lived tripping me up 
I spent the summers disappearing daylight in eves
Summer light fire dreaming me up 
Heading down the vapor roads as a god of the wilderness
Dreaming of your wild eyes gaze 
Late twenties I guess I was supposed to have things together 
But I was even more untethered than when I was younger 
Maybe I was lacking agency 
I was waiting for someone to do something for me
Blades of the moon
I was tired of forgiving 
I was sure the world was ending soon 
Every year living became harder 
Running on the meadows of the moon 
Like I was its martyr 
Like I was its daughter 
I was sure the world was ending soon 
Bladed moon grasses swinging in the rain
I was running like sheep in a wolf’s chase 
The gods were scared of us
They couldn't find us
On the gardens of the moon 
We were going home going home going home soon
Golden apples in a Hesperides grove 
I was regretting all the things I chose 
Inside that chrysalis of existence
And it was killing me
It was killing me like lonely summer eves 
I was a hierophant of the dark seas
And I felt those seas getting up under me
I was a hierophant of the dusks 
Like annunciation but it was us
What a configuration it was everlasting eternity
Those seas of eternity were getting up under me
We were cataloguing solitudes as if we were meant for greater things
Everlasting the dark seas were deadlines
Hierophant of the everlasting seas
You were the entire earth to me
What a crime and what a punishment 
Drowning in the dreamscapes of existence 
The seas were everlasting punishment to me
And it was martyr season
The universe was Adamantine 
Desire sentenced itself 
Then it sentenced me 
Reminding me of the summer seas
Drowning me in summerfire deeps
Desire like a summertime
I desired that it felled me
Into the universes Adamantine 
I was a descendant of the seas ribbons of fire
Everlasting the dark seas were deadlines
Nets of creation we were salvaging the wastes
All the glamours were castles of air
Darling of the devastations 
The earth made us martyrs 
Although I was its dutiful daughter 
Everlasting seas
The earth couldn't be outlasting me
Desire was a sinking in the eternal seas
And I was surfacing like a siren from the summerfire deeps
Firewood soul 
You contained all the polarities
I wouldn't let them bury me
You were my shipmate on an estranging sea
Another one of those summertime infinities
I was dying like a descendant of Desire
That estranging sea
I remembered your beatific gaze
Cataloguing the solitudes
Firewood soul I was eternity 
The centaurs of Time weren’t running fast enough for me
Hostage of the night roads 
I was migrating to Inferno

Pietà of the Midnights

A prisoner of surviving 
I wasted my life 
Wintering on the seasides 
We were never going home 
It was golden Genesis in a dome 
Blooming like a blood wound 
Pietà I was drinking moon juice 
I was just trying to survive too 
The lantern of the ages
Had me hanging 
We were never going home 
I was the changeling child
Like the Pietà I made suffering my pride 
Darkness in the lantern of ages  
Blooming as a blood wound 
Pietá of the midnight coasts
Opium eater on the god-shore 
I made suffering my door 
Changeling child dreaming away time 
Who will rival me 
In annihilating beauty 
The moon kept her eye on me
Like I was jewel of the deep 
Dreaming of moonshine 
Days steeped into nights
We survived the sieges 
Through flood through fire 
It was desire that had me
Hanging me like a lantern at the seaside 
I wouldn't cry 
I wouldn't cry 
The days steeped into nights 
Blizzards of Time I wintered by the seasides
We met when the wandering water moon was in flight
And it killed me it killed me trying to survive 
I was a ghost a dream fearing dissolution
And we were going home soon 
To dream away the time 
It was survival that lit up
Like desire to me 
Our destiny was dying and it was rising
It was fear that lit up
Like survival to me
There was a celebration in the throne room 
But Nobody was home 
Like a Pietá of the midnights
In the ashes of the Earth
We prayed it was metamorphosis 
Because it was killing us
It was killing us 
The divinity of desire 
There were decapitated violets in Paradise
It was hard to remember why we did it 
Grandeur of the god-shore 
But I was bored of beholding it 
While there was a celebration in the throne room
The sorrows we thought they were Proverbs
Cassandra with prophecy as a nightshade 
I invoked diviner things 
Rose of oblivion
There was a celebration in the throne room 
I didn't intend to go
Prophecy was a night shade
And I remember 
How they had Cassandra slayed