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VERONICA RHEN

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Child of Dust

Fire-scorcher
Heaven was a hostility of light
like a blood sacrifice
desire choreographed us
into catastrophe
I held reliquaries of stillborn figs
we were lion lambs
ambushed in the starving seasons
months like sinkholes
Magdalena of moth wings
I was a revenant in rapture
from the necromancer moon
if a wishbone was the origin of the world
it was devotion to devastation
I dreaded
Possession
by the zealots of heaven
my redeemer—the Fury!
I feared the enchantments
I was a sibyl of no consequence
there were screams in summer’s sacrament
vanishing like vapor on the roads
and I chose
to be wounded
as an ornament of God

Saturday 07.26.25
Posted by Nika
 

Enigma

Swimming in Time’s river basin 
The waves were black and bone 
on the brink of summer fire season the banks of despair 
somehow summer fire season like a spring Persephone had taken 
and I made the fire my home 
and I kept wondering 
why every summer fire season it was quaking 
how many silted summers would I have to sink in 
every summer fire season had me in survival 
every summer fire storm and I was alive and 
I remember what you did and it was terrible 
Like a cruel spring I had to survive to get here
The lady vanishes! in summer fire!
and it was survival that
had Taken
me  
power lines at midnight
the lady vanishes!
in a panicked state
it was despair (not desire) in Decadence
that had me sinking
in summer fires 
like a sunken season that
had Taken
me
an eternity
under your marauding Eyes
like setting suns
the lady vanishes!
into regret
decadent Hell
it was despair (not desire) 
that had me sinking
in summer fires 
the lady vanishes!
into a season of survival
there was living lightning in my ribs
and I needed—

Saturday 07.26.25
Posted by Nika
 

God of the Gale

I had forgotten how much I wanted 
Our sun was like a golden golem 
Rising every dawn 
The name of God 
At the gaping jaws of silted horizons 
Bloody sunrises like gashes in the skies 
Call me viper 
Heavens tether was a gallows rope 
I wanted an exorcism 
It wasn't enough
God of the gale 
I had forgotten how much I wanted— 
Eros like a crown of thorns
 
Burning in the glass coffins of every blood sunrise every moonless horizon like a golden golem rising from the felled earth 
There was razorlight at the nape of my neck
nor could I forget
a God of the gale
was diving from the wreck
 

Friday 07.25.25
Posted by Nika
 

The Squalor

Soothsayer of the low tides
and I wanted to die 
I wanted to die  
That dark horizon had me singing
and for a time I was limitless
Feed the machine? Well, I was screaming  
In the tombs of Eternity 
Daylight’s anvil in the squalor summer 
Surrendering to soundless chaos
and I vanished
I vanished into wonder   
That dark horizon was feeding me
and for a time I was limitless 
In the cauldron of existence
Living lightning flashed in my eyes
Imagine eternities in tongues of fire like flaming graces
and I wasted and I wasted and I chased it 
Summer skies swollen with storms 
I was a peasant of the meadows
but it was irradiated wasteland 
The moon had winged shadows
and I panicked 
I panicked in Time
Tessellating storms on the skylines the moon was in a reservoir it was splendor and squalor on a moonshine sea but I was sinking in the Machines like a cyborg thing
and I wasted and I wasted and I wasted and I chased it
and the stars were twinkling in repose
and the apertures were arresting me 
it was a sorcery of light I chose
but for flaming grace I chased that agony with nothing to lie upon
and I was gone and
I was gone 
Symphony of the four winds 
my eyes were restless evangelists 
Vanishings in the tombs of golden afternoons 
I wanted every golden eve I held
and I wanted them to— 
the planet was singing like desire to me  
there was darkness in the universes Adamantine
and I vanished
I vanished with Time
Lantern over the abyss 
I was an angel of the apocalypse
and I witnessed the ends
An infinity of times

Thursday 07.17.25
Posted by Nika
 

Devotion

Devotion was killing me 
I was speechless  
Moon fish leaping out of mist
Holy fires in the god-garden 
Day delirium (I was dying) 
Confinement in the miracles 
(I witnessed) 
(The end of all things)
(Like a blessing)
(From the cold rivers of Heaven)

Sunday 07.13.25
Posted by Nika
 

Falcon's Nest

Bard of the shattering stars 
Heaven was a restless mezzanine 
And I was robbing daylight in a frenzy
Remembering the people that had forgotten me  
Sleeping beauty on a bed of blooming thorns
The moon was wounded like me 
Metamorphosis—I would burn 
In the grandeur of fire 
Desire was my coffin 
We were dragged into acres of Heaven
By cherubim 
The verdicts of mirrors was a minefield 
Diamond cutting morning light 
We were Wounded in the god-tomb of life
A feasting falcon’s nest 
Aching autumn was no birthright 
And I feared we wouldn’t arrive 

Sunday 07.13.25
Posted by Nika
 

Hierophant

All the lives I never lived tripping me up 
I spent the summers disappearing daylight in eves
Summer light fire dreaming me up 
Heading down the vapor roads as a god of the wilderness
Dreaming of your wild eyes gaze 
Late twenties I guess I was supposed to have things together 
But I was even more untethered than when I was younger 
Maybe I was lacking agency 
I was waiting for someone to do something for me
Blades of the moon
I was tired of forgiving 
I was sure the world was ending soon 
Every year living became harder 
Running on the meadows of the moon 
Like I was its martyr 
Like I was its daughter 
I was sure the world was ending soon 
Bladed moon grasses swinging in the rain
I was running like sheep in a wolf’s chase 
The gods were scared of us
They couldn't find us
On the gardens of the moon 
We were going home going home going home soon
Golden apples in a Hesperides grove 
I was regretting all the things I chose 
Inside that chrysalis of existence
And it was killing me
It was killing me like lonely summer eves 
I was a hierophant of the dark seas
And I felt those seas getting up under me
I was a hierophant of the dusks 
Like annunciation but it was us
What a configuration it was everlasting eternity
Those seas of eternity were getting up under me
We were cataloguing solitudes as if we were meant for greater things
Everlasting the dark seas were deadlines
Hierophant of the everlasting seas
You were the entire earth to me
What a crime and what a punishment 
Drowning in the dreamscapes of existence 
The seas were everlasting punishment to me
And it was martyr season
The universe was Adamantine 
Desire sentenced itself 
Then it sentenced me 
Reminding me of the summer seas
Drowning me in summerfire deeps
Desire like a summertime
I desired that it felled me
Into the universes Adamantine 
I was a descendant of the seas ribbons of fire
Everlasting the dark seas were deadlines
Nets of creation we were salvaging the wastes
All the glamours were castles of air
Darling of the devastations 
The earth made us martyrs 
Although I was its dutiful daughter 
Everlasting seas
The earth couldn't be outlasting me
Desire was a sinking in the eternal seas
And I was surfacing like a siren from the summerfire deeps
Firewood soul 
You contained all the polarities
I wouldn't let them bury me
You were my shipmate on an estranging sea
Another one of those summertime infinities
I was dying like a descendant of Desire
That estranging sea
I remembered your beatific gaze
Cataloguing the solitudes
Firewood soul I was eternity 
The centaurs of Time weren’t running fast enough for me
Hostage of the night roads 
I was migrating to Inferno

Saturday 07.12.25
Posted by Nika
 

Pietà of the Midnights

A prisoner of surviving 
I wasted my life 
Wintering on the seasides 
We were never going home 
It was golden Genesis in a dome 
Blooming like a blood wound 
Pietà I was drinking moon juice 
I was just trying to survive too 
The lantern of the ages
Had me hanging 
We were never going home 
I was the changeling child
Like the Pietà I made suffering my pride 
Darkness in the lantern of ages  
Blooming as a blood wound 
Pietá of the midnight coasts
Opium eater on the god-shore 
I made suffering my door 
Changeling child dreaming away time 
Who will rival me 
In annihilating beauty 
The moon kept her eye on me
Like I was jewel of the deep 
Dreaming of moonshine 
Days steeped into nights
We survived the sieges 
Through flood through fire 
It was desire that had me
Hanging me like a lantern at the seaside 
I wouldn't cry 
I wouldn't cry 
The days steeped into nights 
Blizzards of Time I wintered by the seasides
We met when the wandering water moon was in flight
And it killed me it killed me trying to survive 
I was a ghost a dream fearing dissolution
And we were going home soon 
To dream away the time 
It was survival that lit up
Like desire to me 
Our destiny was dying and it was rising
It was fear that lit up
Like survival to me
There was a celebration in the throne room 
But Nobody was home 
Like a Pietá of the midnights
In the ashes of the Earth
We prayed it was metamorphosis 
Because it was killing us
It was killing us 
The divinity of desire 
There were decapitated violets in Paradise
It was hard to remember why we did it 
Grandeur of the god-shore 
But I was bored of beholding it 
While there was a celebration in the throne room
The sorrows we thought they were Proverbs
Cassandra with prophecy as a nightshade 
I invoked diviner things 
Rose of oblivion
There was a celebration in the throne room 
I didn't intend to go
Prophecy was a night shade
And I remember 
How they had Cassandra slayed 

Thursday 07.10.25
Posted by Nika
 

Fire Sermon

I would be more grateful for reality if I had a weaker imagination. 

It was Glassed devastation crashing like light  
Let me tell you what I needed
You burning with me all Summerfire season 
They couldn't invent me in a forge 
The hills were wild 
It was desire killing me 
In the summer eves
Rushing through the rollercoaster season 
Like it was a ride 
Like I wanted to die 
And it was midsummer 
When I dreamt your head was between the trees
As that lover moon lay behind meshed leaves
You were the midnight district that I put my wisdom into 
It was a fire-sermon like God breathing and the wind maybe it was lamentations 
And I was afraid of the revelations 
Revealing my limitations 
Sibyl hanging In a jar 
I hardly grieved
when I was sinking in the summers 
You were saving the abundances for another summer in eternity 
It was a fire-sermon
Yes I heard Him
wheezing through the trees as ghost vapors
I was listening for the symphonies but it was chaos 
It was golden dawn to me
The golden shadows of a god leaving me 
Like firethreads of the apocalypse that burned
Like phoenixes in my grip and I wanted you haunting me 
Then the hauntings let me go
I was your revelation as a fire on wings 
It was fire threads of the apocalypse like a phoenix that  I ate 
Glassed devastation shattering into light 
Dawns rebirth after each evening and it killed me and it killed me 
It was a fire-sermon like God revealing wisdom and the wind maybe it was lamentations 
I was a clairvoyant of the golden coasts and 
Your eyes were fixed on me like I was a magician 
Like an epiphany of light I crashed like lightning into clairvoyance 
It was a fire-sermon like God grieving and the wind well maybe it was lamentations 
You were a magician of the thunder 
and I wondered 
It was mirrored hell in the meadow and you were the cooler of moonlights 
I was a peasant of the tempest moons and I was going home soon and 
We were on highways of the golden coasts 
Out of touch of the surfaces
Like a decomposing thing 
I was going out like tea lights it was too short of a time 
The thunder said do not prolong me
Your eyes were fixed on me as if I were some mind magician 
Ariel of the tempest moons 
And I was going home soon 
Midnight deeps we were wandering the moons 
The halls of god were emptying 
I was burning in Carthage 
The stars vaporized their stations of darkness 
I was a lily in a flooded valley 
The god-halls of Olympus were dreaming in colonnades
I was making no attempts to leave the prisons
Your hyacinth girl 
Burning in Carthage instead of the departed 
Anyway, if I end up with the Grecians 
I want you there 
Your eyes were fixed on me 
Although the flesh is dust 
You were a kindling miracle to me 
Desire like a fire sermon 
I was only newborn when I was sending worlds into dissolution 
Like a miraculous thing 
You launched a thousand ships from the towers of Ilium
You were called to keep the disasters at bay like a Templar knight but your falling was me 
God was listening in the wheezing trees 
I feel like it's my final season 
We used a razor of the angels
And I wonder what that made the suicides? 
You were a kindling miraculous fire being
and I was made of evergreens
As the ice melted look what I found 
It was just a basin of diamonds
And I was tired of it
I was tired of it
And I wanted to found out 
You were the miraculous thing dissolving me 
The days were fire-drakes
There were wild beasts on the moonpasses 
The Darks were gathering like voyagers we were beholden to
You were a miraculous thing 
Dwelling with the seraphim 
But you didn’t exist
It was just a basin of diamonds 
I wanted life but you had vowed to destroy me 
The despair was more than a weekend 
You were a kindling miraculous fire thing 
Before you were newly born to us 
And I witnessed that fire beholding us like a drake of the night valleys 
We heard the fire sermon from the eyes of hell 
and then we were carrion food 
Betrothed to the evergreens and
yet you were the kindling miraculous fire thing in my being and I sent worlds to dissolution 
Arcadia was glassed devastation
Let’s stay here 
The fire sermon was real 
We were sealed by heaven before the sundering 
You were a dream that rose in me 
I think there were tongues of fire bringing down Sinai 
But lets go anyway
Blades to make a language I could understand 
Now the rest was permanent 
They wouldn’t have heard of us 
We were minor deities in the cosmologies 
And I wonder what that made the suicides? 
It was just a basin of diamonds
And I was tired of it
I was tired of it

Tuesday 07.08.25
Posted by Nika
 

The Exiled

Lying in wait like some brightly burning tyger of Blake 
Yes I hesitated 
Brazen flaming giants, antagonists to the deities 
Suddenly I'm a teenager again 
And this time things are going according to plan 
It was a dream I had 
Then I surrendered it 
We've all been played
And it was a good game 
Blooming roses in the fire-garden of God
And I sought—
It was desire on wings
Draining me like a vampire of the end times 
We were frankly welcoming them 
And I witnessed the end of the opium of existence 
And I witnessed a new age like an anchoress of the cliffs
The reservoirs of ages were voided
I was free to sink in the summers appetites
Seasons of wanting and I panicked 
Mortal abominations at the divine gates
And I reasoned— 
The end of all things was a blessing 
Marvelous stillness in the heavens basement
And I desired that it would kill me 
Levitating like an angel of vengeance
I was stationed in Time’s abyssal halls
And I vanished— I vanished— 
It was existence like a dreaming garment cloaking me 
Existence like spring twilights in summertime 
And I witnessed the summer infinities swallowing me 
It was singing like desire to me
Existence like a sentencing spring from Tuck Everlasting 
And I was outlasting the Idylls of The King
And I vanished— I vanished—
Into a season of being 
Maybe I never wanted anything 
I witnessed the end of all things 
Like a grace for the exiled of the kingdom 

tags: sibyl what do you want
Monday 07.07.25
Posted by Nika
 

Angel of the Apocalypse

Angel of Revelation
Like an apocalypse of dreams 
You had a life of eases
How did you become a devil in my mind? 
How did you become a devil to me?
You were leaving shadows of a demon
Like footprints forged in the deeps 
I thought we were safe slumbering 
But we woke from an apocalypse of dreams 
It was vertigo or sleep
Scatterings of light in sunpools 
I was a spirit in Confinement 
And like St elmo’s fire
I would divide myself in light 
Mornings spilt in the dark mirror of Time
And I can’t get out 
Springs of light like fire-isles 
And all the mirrors were clapping thunder 
A lantern in a tempest 
St Elmo’s fire rippling like ultraviolet lights 
Strolling through mountains of madness but it was life
You were Milton's daredevil 
And I would divide myself 
With a blacksmith’s forge into light 
Prisoner of the plains
I was chained on Dawn’s scaffolding 
In springs of light 
You had the muteness of misty mountain peaks 
from the cloistered meadowlands 
like the boundaries of sleep 
I was cast from Paradise that Meadowland 
Following the promenade of bones 
Ariel was sleeping in the seas
While Lilith was razing cities
I became an anchoress of the cliffs 
Like springs of light 
You were my strange attractor 
Age of Aquarians he wasn’t there and I—
was tarnished 
We were slaves to a philosopher’s stone 
Harness of the divine 
And I fear that downfall corroded me 
I was Jezebel of the apocalypse
The mountains factories were smoking
We were drawing dawn lights in the wraith ships 
You were like a stranger in an avalanche 
And I needed you saving me 
A decaying rose cast from Paradise 
I was drunk on Being like a liquor of the faeries in the spring 
the daypassages corroded me 
I was a signature of fire
And the mountains were smoking factories 
We were fishing for moons in ponds
You were the altar I was burning at
and I witnessed —
the end of the universe like a liquor in the spring 
The Dawn was drawing its lights
Your bones are coral now 
But you were Divine then 
Age of Aquarians he wasn’t there and I—
was a tarnished Jezebel cast from Paradise
The wounded doom corroded me 
Your eyes were glassblack devastation like pebbles of the riverbed 
Heir of the fire ruins it was desire arriving as a stranger in an avalanche 
And I wanted its salvation so I vanished in the summer lightning
It was desire cast from Paradise
And I witnessed
The falling of Jericho into golden ichor 
Like the boundaries of meadowland 
We were harnessed by the divine 
I was a signature of fire
You were gorgeous then 
But your bones are coral now 
And I went down like drawing dawn lights with the wraithships 
I varnished in a summer thunderstorm 
Lightning inquisitor of the storm seasons 
We were fishing for moons in ponds like Existence  
I was Joan of Arc of the mining diamonds
You were the altar I was burning at 
I was a tarnished Jezebel cast from Paradise 
There were fire-flowers in the summer lightning 
And I witnessed the end of all things 
And now desire like a momentary eclipse
one eve ever since has me
dreaming in kingdoms of fish 
I was drunk on being like a liquor of the fairies in the spring 
You were divine then 
Your bones are coral now in standing lakes of darkness machinery and 
I vanished in the thunderstorm with the immensity of summer lightning
and I witnessed like a vespertine of the fire-ruins
we were picnicking in the wastes of the Deep 
Drawing dawn lights from the black Earth 
Those salvaged worlds mirrored me like an Incantation 
I fell in fathoms of the sea 
And then that Devastation witnessed me 
You were the altar I was burning at
Like a monk in a bell tower
I was a signature of fire 
And I vanished in a thunderstorm 
It was a carnival of salvaged worlds 
And I wanted you to lead me like a firebrand in the dark 
We were mooncalfs in the twilight
There were isles of Laputa in the kingdoms
Existence was a chrysalis 
And then you vanished like summer lighting 
I was an apostate angel and my country was a cocoon
We were quarreling with the earth
and I reasoned— 
that momentary eclipse could not silence me 
for all the immensities but for a season 
and I was in quarrel with the earth
Fire of the apocalypse desire
like a Piranesi in the mazes I was betrayed
Vespertine of the dark lagoons of time and I fear they were mazes 
Sentenced like a witch of Salem to the chrysalis
Existence was an apostate angel without wings
The sky burning black oil from a spill of summer lightning 
You were Milton's daredevil in imitation of fire
I witnessed Time that fortress 
in quarrel with the Earth
We fell like sunken kingdoms of desire in the summer lightning 
I was a Vespertine of tarnished worlds
Executed as a witch of a Salem and existence
I fear it was a cocoon of wisdom
A stranger in an avalanche
I wanted you saving me with desire and in the summer lightning I witnessed the end of all things mentioned eternally recurring and I witnessed the universe in tealights like St. Elmo’s fires on the mashes of darkness and the first fire desire was lightning in a storm

Sunday 07.06.25
Posted by Nika
 

Fire in the Fairgrounds

Time the destroyer
Weaponized me into wings
I witnessed 
The mark of the beast
In the earth’s fortress-forest
I was in the Nowheres
Like a reservoir of standing lakes
Existence was a fleeting threshold on the slopes of Heaven 
I fell in the fountainhead of the divine 
It killed me it killed me 
Divided into the fragments of an angel
I was lamenting for the ages that made us into graves 
Like a revenant hiding from the killing fields of sunlight 
I stood on the promontory 
To witness the handiworks of diviner things 
Your ambition
Lulled me to sleep
The gods were listening 
We could disinherit the sepulcher of the ages 
From sentencing us to stillness 
Three wise men running after me 
How delectable it was to end it all 
With prodigal waste filling my days  
Three wise men witnessing me like lovers in rapture
And, let's face it, I needed 
To be an object of desire 
Starlight as white as ivory from mammoth tusks *
And yes I fear extinction was also coming for us
Watchman of devastation-dawn
The Eternal War of being was on
Released like dandelion dust
Into the sweeping existences
And I fear I needed
Everything  
For a time I had the ego of a city-state god 
A minor deity in the cosmologies 
Still I witnessed 
Smoking comets of starfire
Twinkling like desire to me 
Dying was a promise, wasn't it?
Bonfire of the vanities
The sky was a swampfire of the marshes
I was the bard of a giggling god 
Starstorms from the catastrophes 
Had me laughing on my knees 
I don’t know what I want from life
Maybe dying on the boulevards
Of suffering 
Like a prophetess of pain
I witnessed the end of the universe like a god-kiss 
Shattering ecstasy
The armed forces of Eden were flashes of a golden prophet 
I was vanishing into the vanities 
At the summers meridian 
Strange fruit on the lattices of trees 
Bombarded in the fortress-forest
By legions of the armed forces of Eden 
I guarded the language of the angels like a golden prophet
An angel of the periphery
The Milky Way was a widow-maker 
I was the baroque of Babylon
Desire that laboratory of fire
The spectators watched me like I was an angel of the devastation 
Widow-makers of the milky wars
Flooded with enchantment 
I wanted all the worlds to end 
The moon like a radiator streaming from the trees
And the severed ends of eternity witnessed me
Imitating their immensity
I sought more monuments like the deity of a city-state
Carnival of lucent terrors 
There were firelights in those marshes
We the unredeemed and I needed I needed I needed
One thousand doors of the universe closing in 
I had a relationship with the fault lines of existence 
My vengeance foe from the fogs of the unknown 
Late-twenties like a grave of fireflies
and I wanted to die!  **
Too much taken, too much borrowing of the light 
You were life like desire to me 
My midnight languages 
Like [torn] effigies of the angel language
And I desired  
Soliloquies of light
It was remarkable savagery
How you wanted me 
Heaved from heaven 
You were Desire to me 
And contrary to reason 
I desired the water lights of the existence 
Like a riddling sphinx 
Contrary to wisdom 
I hoped the cornucopia of life would kill us 
Savage of the badlands
The fragility deserted me 
While I was an idyll of the king
You were sinking on those slopes of Heaven
And I chose 
Myself 
The Eternal War of Being was killing wisdom 
Atonement for unholy angels 
Oh the armed forces of Eden 
In legions 
Were witnessing me 
The uprising of reason
I wanted eternity in a season shattering me to completion 
I left reason for the greater eternities 
And I wanted them screaming about having witnessed me
Desire twinkling in the twilights  
And I wanted those armies of heaven releasing me 
And I wanted your family drifting like a submarine under the seas 
We were Romeo and Juliet 
In the pupils of a disaster 
Existence the madhouse of oblivion
And I stared into the black pupils of god 
Like a collapsing star on the badlands of heaven
My veins injected with the golden arteries of a deity
The Eternal War of being was on and I was the chief 
Existence was lunch at the roadside picnic and I was sick of it 
And I experienced eternity as a punishment of dust
Watchman like a lullaby of light
At the world’s end
I was flayed as a snowbird in the spring
An impostor of light
Pines in the fortress-forest 
The universe was a brimming gift 
Desire was living in me as divine punishment 
I was running into the Sunken 
Like I was in the submarine of your family 
The feast of existence
I tended like a fire-garden of God 
And I sought— 
The jewel of existence was a mirage
My silver life was actually asphalt **
And I was Lady Lacrimose 
Parnassus of the waxing dark
Those bombarding armies of angels wanting to bestow wisdom
Ecstasy like Winter witnessing tulips in the spring 
Witnessing the end of all things
Had me laughing on my knees 
I wanted that verdure torturing me for a time but it was an Eternal Severing 
All the snaking things in the god-garden of paradise
Taught me wisdom 
And I heard the legions of Heaven 
Like music of the universe from the flute of Pan
Surging soliloquies of light and I panicked— 
The universe was an aged phoenix transmuting from flames
and I waited—
Like crystal chandeliers when I crashed into glassed Devastation
I shattered into light 
Captain Bluebeard’s wives under the sea 
With the sunken Leviathan of the fire-seas 
And I was sure Captain Bluebeard
Advanced 
Towards
Me 
You brought a knife to a firefight 
and I was burning as the friar’s lantern
Maybe it was the mark of a beast 
Witnessing me all summerfire season 
Decaying was a station of life 
and I survived— I survived —
In fragments of light 
Revelation in the firetides of Heaven 
and I died — I died — 
It was the twenty-first century
Let’s face it, the Leviathan was a Machine 
Like scribes we could attest to the annihilations
Or let them dance with us
I witnessed the devastations like an artist of the stage
The faeries of a midsummer’s night dream found me one summerfire season  
I was slumbering in the gilded silences of infinity 
When fire achilles leapt through the seasons
East of Eden 
You were a golden boy 
and I sought
Even golder things 
A mutiny of silences
And Bluebeard was my bride-to-be 
I weaponized grief
Surely twenty-eight seasons is too 
Soon to be sentenced to the fire-seas 
Exiled for saying the eternities wasted us 
Exiled for saying we wasted the abundances 
I was as homeless as the furnished can be
It was Maslow’s Hierarchy
I WANTED THE ETERNITIES
LUSTING FOR ME
We would return to dust in the god-grave
(Or say they say!) 
Fires on the fairgrounds
Like Sisyphus I was guarding the punishment
A chained slave on the fire-seas 
I dissent— I dissent 
Emperor of gladness
I wanted among the vanishings 
The cauldron of [circumstance] like the fiery wings of an aged phoenix 
And I waited
For that devastation to forge light 
Sidewalks sinking under La Brea tar 
Yes I walked with the stars in orchards of light 
You were beheading flowers 
Like a Prospero of transcendence 
And I witnessed the polyphonies like afflictions of flaming light
Existence a punishment from the divinities
The mania of desire had me rolling in those fire-fields 
Like a gyspy from the gardens of Babylon 
I was immortal as a demiurge 
Life was an effigy of eternity 
I borrowed blood from the godhead 
And I witnessed that eternity like an immortal
In Ecstasy 
Morning arising like a coffin 
I was a songbird shacked 
And it was a massive fortune 
Insatiable for the riche 
Desire hypnotized with
Its burning solaces of grace 
The fragility was a wasteland of grace 
And I made it my territory 
Felled trees of eternity 
Hypnotized me like Piranesi in the mazes
That labyrinth of desire
I was wasted by the adornments of the sun 
Lifted from the mares of darkness
Into promenades of light as if we were heirs of fire  
World History like twisting sinews of Ariadne’s threads
And I witnessed those 
Hectares of night
Releasing me into devastation 
Barricade of the days
I descended into vacancies  
Beauty is the highest form of being
We were beached whales 
Advancing to devastation 
The witnessing 
Of auguries 
Was clapping thunder to me
It burned like
Devastating desire 
I killed my selves for light 
Iceberg caves of ice
And I hid  
Like a midnight dew mariner 
A hyperborean on heaven’s rim 
We were stirring eddies of dust 
And the eternities were rippling
Derangement in the summer gleaming
And I needed —
  
The moon was a radiator in the colds of Nox
Like a fortress-forest of the dark
And I was far from my dreams
Witnessing those orbiting suns of Solaris 
When the devastation embraced me 
Three wise men burning myrrh-frankincense
Like dying mythologies
We had immortalized our pains
And it burned like smoking comets all summer long
The eternal War of Being was on  
Desire was decadence in a glance  
And I vanished - I vanished 
I was a desert of the devastation 
Dressed in the Adamantine 
Gate
Of 
Heaven 
Faraway I fared the wastelands of wonderland
And yes I panicked 
Desire ecstatic like lightning to say his name eternity was like a golden God-shore to me hordes of glittering infinites and I wanted at least three wise men burning me like the Armageddon desire that fire of eternity burning me like a fallen thing
Incarcerating desire 
The discord was hardly
A disadvantage
I vanished - I vanished 
(Into desire)
It was a sentence of grace
And then I realized 
That devastation was me
And I was in ecstasy! 
The rolling seas of eternity 
I thought the fragility had vanished 
Then I settled into the Sunken of summer like a submarine
And I panicked 
Existence was a punishment that God gave
Well, I resisted! and I called him Scarface
Pirates on the glittering seas of infinity 
And I wanted that existence punishing me
Into devotion to the greater things
Like fireflies in the fortress-forest twinkling like desire 
I witnessed 
That devastation 
And I called it 
Light 

tags: one summer thunderstorm would change everything
Sunday 07.06.25
Posted by Nika
 

Irreducible

Oh, I have suffered / With those that I saw suffer. Miranda in The Tempest

I was terrified of the things waiting for me 
The illusions were disappearing 
Killing me in a sequence of silences
Everything was rushing
It was too much for me
Firefalling like Yosemite 
Around the clock 
Tearing off flower petals  
I wish I could stop 
Wanting to possess beauty 
The fragility annihilating me every eve 
I grieved I grieved
Then I melted to eternity 
The spectacles 
Winnowing me 
Into singularity 
Accumulated light 
From the floods of daytime 
Limbs of light peeling my sleeping eyelids 
Wayless like the breaking days  
I couldn't survive the pillars of creation 
I was traveling sargasso seas
When the spectacles witnessed me 
Spawning sun in the dark stations of night
I was a newborn babe
With an inquiring gaze
Before the shockwaves
I flamed amazement  
Vanishing into territories of mist
I admit jealousy of infinity's edgelessness  
The Earth owes me nothing 
And still I wanted 
A cloud creature fearing descent
I made a transaction with the darkness 
Blossoming moon glow swallowing me whole 
A funeral for the planet 
I was at the wake 
For the vanishings
And I prayed
That the flowering jasmine spring 
Hadn't missed me 
I was a sorcerer
Classifying the fires 
Like an archivist of light 
I saw Carthage destroyed 
And I wanted more 
A Valkyrie of the warlights in succession
Like a rich man needling through the eyes of heaven 
I wanted impossible things to happen to me
Slumbering in the fever-furnaces of dream
It was existence like a leech that desiccated me 
I would not betray the sound and fury 
Epiphanies from the tempest 
And yes we were sleepless 
I was a gilded firebird on that horizon 
I would inject my blood
Into the veins of earth
Spin light with the Spinners 
Bear witness to that disaster 
Carthage was history 
I was a jewel of the earth
Before the grief reduced me 
Endowed with reason and I wanted to give it up
Siren of the night
Grief reduced me 
I was a bride of the disaster
The light was spinning
And I wanted it to Go! Faster! 
I was a silhouette of the sun 
Demons from the deep drumming 
Like a refugee of fire 
I was consumed by wounds 
A history of my being
And it was annihilation 
I saw the ocean surfacing in barricades of waves 
Like the last gleaming rays of day
And I needed mirages sustaining me 
It was too much 
Time like a scimitar 
A traitor even to idleness 
I was in the dust with the locusts 
Sleeping away eternity 
Reduced by grief
I would not betray the sound and fury
Epiphanies from the tempest 
And yes we were sleepless 

What seest thou else
In the dark backward and abysm of time? Prospero in The Tempest

tags: the fragility
Saturday 07.05.25
Posted by Nika
 

The Eternal War

The fragility found me one shimmering eve 
I was trapped trapped 
I saw those Beverly Hills Palm trees witnessing me 
The eternal war 
Let them burn 
Let them burn 
A conflagration that I started
And I wanted it burning hot 
Fires from heavens edges 
I wanted a break from the circumstances 
Then that summer eve said hello to me 
That eternal war Being 
It was despair wasn't it 
I was warned about being that destiny that remembered my request for salvation 
I was in the sweltering yellows of summer 
The cars racing on residential streets 
I pretended the spotlights for Independence Day were for me
And there was I 
Being that destiny
I feared it needed me to grieve
Even the homes had more than me
I was an isolated angel
Living on the rims of minutes like a mariner of Time
Excellence would have killed us anyway 
My life is this nothingness-are you kidding? I grieved I grieved 
Desire that overthrew nations laying waste to me 
It doesn't matter we were guaranteed doom 
And our lives would be over soon 
I'd make no vigil for dusks 
They had the rest of us anyway 
And I them
Who could survive the sentencing
The eternal war it was on  
I don’t think I ever thought my life would be so much nothingness
I'd make no vigil for dusks 
We were guaranteed freedom but it was a whirlpool of light 
Arcade of the angels
And I was the game they were playing 
The Great War 
They wouldn't learn
Summer eves sentencing me  
The sky was an inverted forge 
And I wanted
More of creation 
I prayed it was a feverish creation 
Because I was sure it would end me 
Demon of Frankenstein 
I wanted out of my chains 
The sky was an inverted forge 
And I wanted more of creation 
The gulfs of dream 
Desecrated me 
I was lost in other dimensions 
Hollowed like purgatories of light 
Desolation in the sky
Wreckage in torrents 
I could have sworn 
God was a monolith 
That we erected 
Divinity, was it a delirium?
I mean the odyssey was weird 
I was on embankments of freedom 
And I reasoned 
The wingbeats were angels and not demons 
Wreckage in torrents 
I could have sworn that 
God was a forge I invented 
Like Frankenstein 
I learned to love my chains 
They resurrected me 
I was a ruined ornament of earth 
I reasoned those wingbeats weren't sentencings
Unreadable like a rune
We would all be dead soon 
And I reasoned 
Disappearing into a creek 
Was a nice end 
Sifting through the night 
Summoned like a starling 
To the breeding grounds 
And I witnessed 
The adamantine gown of the universe 
Like an inverted angel 
I was in a lattice dreaming 
I feared that rhizome was witnessing me  
Fracturing was a grace to me
An heirloom in my possession 
I couldn't stand it 
I panicked I panicked 
The wager the wager
Sifting through night
I was in the god-grotto with a wager in my possession 
Passage through summer seas 
Passage through the empire winds  
My fragility like a sacrificial beast 
I took shore roads to redemption 
A hostage in the hour of the goblin
In imitation of fire I died I died 
There were avenues of summer seas
Releasing me into crystalline 
I was a sacrificial beast of the winds 
Like a monolith of light 
Prometheus of the dark grasses
Brandishing blades in the first firelights 
Bewildered in sleepless eternities 
I found shore roads to redemption 
Life like an alchemical seal 
I was destroying things for creation 
It was a sentencing of light
And I was wise to it 
Washing me into oblivion
Alchemy like a temple of Pan 
I wasted light
And I panicked 
The eternal war
I was an automata of earth 
Being that existence 
Was it intelligence 
I wanted out like a summer thundercloud 
I lifted into vacancies 
That released me into summer eves 
Immortality is not for me
Immortality is not for me 
Existence was an exquisite sentence to me 
Killing your self for art is survival too
Light ages like lilies of the Nile
I wanted the light ages killing me like desire  
And I witnessed the decay of my reason
In the hour of the goblin king
The light ages feared me 
The eternal war was on 
And I was the chief 

Friday 07.04.25
Posted by Nika
 

The actual love of your life is not necessarily the person you are with but the person you long for. I’ve used the word desire so many times that I feel I should clarify: The Fragility is about my desire…for a pool. It was desire, wasn’t it? And I desired that I was swimming.

Thursday 07.03.25
Posted by Nika
 

Between Worlds

The fragility was screaming to me I was between worlds a delay in merry mayhem the fragility was screaming in my bones I fear it needed me screaming in my homelands the fragility was screaming need to me I needed it to set me free I was between worlds so much the better I was a mourning dove fettered the fragility was screaming to me do that thing travel that land and yes under the abundances I panicked
It was merry mayhem that I fell in like starlight  
I desired that it would sing for me 
I was between worlds 
So much the worse 
Like a singing prison 
Can you dream up 
A sweeter incarceration than need 
Prison of the angels punishment 
And I needed desire singing for me 
I was falling in summer 
Like a fisher king desiring immortality 
I desired merry mayhem it was merry mayhem I fell in 
To neglect that need
And have it come back singing
I was wise to it 
The fragility was screaming need to me
And I needed wisdom in an instant 
O Caledonia I killed a king 
Yes I fell into desire like a summer kingdom 
It was despairing to be breathing while that despair was singing in me 
And I witnessed
Summer shaking like an earthquake that I was making 
Summer fall descending and I desired that it would kill me
Like a summerfire I desired
I wanted to die in 
Summerfire season smoking me to death 
Summertime season smoking me to rest 
Wished on a shooting star that summerfire season would surrender to 
The fire living in my bones 
A thundering voice from the dust 
Got its grip on me like sunlight 
I witnessed the end of things 
And I was smiling in summer fire season 
And I was between worlds like lightning 
An apotheosis from the ravines
I was an inferior angel in a conclave of cherubim 
For eternity
We were lotus eaters consuming the frosted moon 
Like winged heralds with war wounds
Pandemonium was a glen I was escaping from
A midsummers night dream
A beast from the Loch raided the night in a forest of fireflies 
I died I died 
I was nowhere in that paradise 
An eternal war in dormancy 
The stars reminded me of the dandelions 
That failed our dreams 
A book of the dead
Creation like the shrieking verdict of streetlights that I was twinkling under
An obliterating demon that the storms had dreamed of one season summer
We were marauders of Earth’s settlements 
Bluebells in a garden of banishment
I burned in agony like the limbs of the fisher king waiting for the chosen 
I was out in the battlements of sealights Gatsby at the harbor
I wanted that green light a vital thing living inside of me 
It was desire singing in me summerfire season 

Thursday 07.03.25
Posted by Nika
 

O Caledonia

Listen heaven was that blessing
Witnessing you dreaming of me 
O Caledonia I killed a king
It was the realm of Gabriel I fell in 
Aspiring to perfection like a benediction
A deity flying through fair winds
O Caledonia I killed a king
There was a mutiny in heaven witnessing me
Perfection I launched it like a rocket
A berserker in rapture with the shackles of magic
I heard the spheres singing in bridges of opium where the gods were grazing
I roamed the pearling seas 
O Caledonia I killed a king 
Like a deity following fair winds 
I could not survive your judgment 
Desire like a blinded prophet still singing
O Caledonia I killed a king 
I was wilding into dreams 
A yawning earth like a conclave of forgotten gods 
The tides of time swallowed me 
River Lethe beckoning in my memories 
I wanted to annihilate what made me 
Like a deity following fair winds 
Airborne in a regained paradise 
O Caledonia
I killed a king 

tags: Beary Bean needs a bonnet I’m on it I’m on it
Wednesday 07.02.25
Posted by Nika
 

THE APOCRYPHA II

I feared the floating world existence was a repository of treasuries I was trying to flee into daydreams like an exiled king I was in the realm of the angels and I feared it might kill me and I wished it would and I feared it was an annihilation I had sought and I witnessed the distances grow we were hallucinating the first betrayal besides there were other terrors Angels in America? I would have seen one the rails of trains were getting up under me and there was no reason we couldn't die like Anna Karenina by the trains to witness the devastation secondhand I lived again after reincarnation it was desire wasn’t it 

Existence like a root in my throat that kept growing it was desire wasn't it our death was guaranteed and I panicked before that desire witnessed me in the newborn dawn and let me tell you I was gone! I was gone! 

I had a habit of vanishing into time I was gone the brutality witnessed me as I was rooting it was sacrilege in sacred spaces who could survive the dynasties in the newborn dawn even I wanted me gone irisdescent it was desire wasn't it and I desired it stakeout in the Elysian peaks and I was avoiding it all silvered like the moons rival sinking in the glittering grief seas of existence and the thunder said don't be in agony while the summer still dreams but it was a surplus of summer a colonnade of clouds like the black gulfs of Babylon the hanging trees of heaven wanted me gone in the gallows of darkness and I wanted to return to the shining hills existence lived in my arteries the singing of sirens I wanted to die in a chyralis oh god! It was existence wasn't it and I desired it would kill me it was chaos and I stand in it

The miracles were lynching me like a Wolf in a Chalice the holy grail polluted by carrion and I carried on peacekeeping yes I panicked the haunting of me year by year chrysalis the miracles were lynching me the violence of lightning transfiguring into fire I lived on primordial time I swore off allegiance to the flesh but that sublime violence remembered us the apocalypse in my throat and I chose it dream-catcher hanging in the gallows trees with that Reverend night beast with its jaws the world in border fires ran scarlet in the night like a beast with its jaws gravitating to devastation year after year and I wanted— like the gold of God the apocrypha from the seas of consumptive june consumed by june a cyclops hungering for me lost in the Hollywood Hills it killed me it killed me a valley of beasts baring darkness with its emanations the singing of sirens I wanted to die in a chyralis oh god! 

It was desire wasn't it desire like annihilation Promethean fire like a burning bush beneath the Mountain of God I AM WHO I AM it was desire that had become a mountain to me like a sacred vestment an abundance become waste I went to the wastelands like an altar for a past me I feared it would kill me and that I wanted it too it was desire wasn't it lifting me into the colonnade of clouds like the shrine of a virgin that birthed the universe celestial poles like Colossus forming the boundaries of the universe and I panicked I sacrificed reason it was desire as an execution and I reasoned it that if it listened it could have my existence and it did and I surrendered the illuminations it was desire like an execution that I couldn't speak of it released me into the newborn dawn the singing of sirens I wanted to die in a chrysalis oh god!

Wednesday 07.02.25
Posted by Nika
 

THE APOCRYPHA I

The passion according to me like an exiled king I was in the realm of the angels with ethereal visions I was stolen by the abundances devastation like a roadside picnic and yes I panicked we were stranded in the strange seas of solaris the light ages were fables before there was too much silence ships sinking like beacons of our endings it was a disaster and I needed its momentum for the time being shining sabbath of dawn I fell for your duplicity the abundances finished me my mind was a machine like a cybernetic creation

and I witnessed—

Tuesday 07.01.25
Posted by Nika
 

Fool's Gold

Desire isolated me into the infinities desire was living in my limbs like an illness that I couldn't get rid of peacekeeping well I had had it an ephemeral joy like straw turning into gold dinner with Rumpelstiltskin but I brought fool’s gold peacekeeping well I had had it heaven was private property and I brought the fiery things to set that Elysium ablazing adamantine heaven was like a breath of life I wanted the gold even if it was foolish I was the cuisine of a deity the glories were not evenly distributed and I wanted more of them desire surviving the nations existences it was exhilarating to be the dinner of a deity I was stranded on some other planet peacekeeping well I had had it I wanted that desire exhilarating me into the infinities it was war and I was the chief

The fragility was like an engine of creation
Desire turned me into a vacancy
Peacekeeping well I had had it

tags: always glowing you were golden to me, i'd suffer like sisyphus just to be close to you
Tuesday 07.01.25
Posted by Nika
 
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